Ep. 152 Finding Your Way Out of Perfectionism with Rebecca Sharp - theuncensoredempath.com

Ep. 152 Finding Your Way Out of Perfectionism with Rebecca Sharp

Listen Here:

In this episode, we discuss:

  • How Rebecca embraces her feminine working in a male-dominated industry
  • How to identify your version of perfectionism
  • How to recognize when your perfectionist is showing
  • The freedom that comes from setting aside time to “just be”
  • Tools to help you find your way out of perfectionism and balance the feminine + masculine

Additional Resources:

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Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Uncensored Empath, a place for us to discuss highly sensitive energy illness, healing, and transformation. My name is Sarah Small, and I’m a life and success coach for empaths, who want to create a thriving body, business, and life. Think of this podcast as your no-BS guide to navigating life, health and entrepreneurship. You’ll get straight to the point, totally holistic tips from me in real-time as I navigate this healing and growth journey right beside you. This is a Soul Fire production.

Welcome to today’s episode. We’re back after a short break. And my guest today is Rebecca Sharp. She is a friend, a client, and someone who I think you’re going to deeply resonate with. I’ve heard so many people within the Uncensored Empath community say that they are recovering perfectionists, that they are sick of being a perfectionist. And they’re really noticing how these perfectionist behaviors are showing up in their life and keeping them in a box, holding them back, leading to analysis, paralysis, indecision, these hyper, hypercritical thoughts and internal dialogue that just flat out does not feel good. So I decided to have Rebecca on the show, she is an Empath Leaders’ member and has taken several other courses. And as you’ll hear us discuss today, has a super exciting project coming out, her journal, Taro and the Moon. You will see a link to it in the show notes as well.

Rebecca has spent the past seven years in the construction industry after obtaining her Master’s degree in architecture. While being in this very male-dominated industry, she has learned how to embrace her feminine energy, her authenticity, and just be who she is. And that’s been through this journey of shadow work and connecting to her inner light and lightworker. And this is what we often call the ascension journey, the spiritual journey. This self-discovery path to getting to know yourself better has allowed her to connect to her highest self and her intuition, instead of letting perfection get in the way. And now, she’s on a mission and on her own path to help others do the same, get out of their own way as a type-A perfectionist. Rebecca and I relate we’re both Enneagram Type 3s. And if you are not familiar with Enneagram, that’s totally fine, but this is the achiever. And the achiever, super-achiever, overachiever that I also resonate with, can show up in so many freaking ways that also feed into that negative self-talk and dialogue.

And so, in today’s conversation, you’re going to hear Rebecca and I chat about what it means to be a perfectionist, how to catch when your inner perfectionist comes out. Rebecca uses a really beautiful metaphor during our conversation about all these different parts of you or archetypes within you sitting at a conference table and, and trying to decide, trying to discern within yourself like who’s leading the show. So you’ll hear more about that as well as her experience working in a male-dominated industry and how she’s been able to find who she is and embrace her feminine energy, even in that situation. So, super excited for you guys to get to know Rebecca better. And as I mentioned, you’re going to learn even more about Taro and the Moon as we dive into this conversation today.

 

Sarah: Rebecca, welcome to the show. I’m super excited to have you on today.

Rebecca: Thanks, Sarah. I’m excited to be here.

How Rebecca embraces her feminine working in a male-dominated industry

Sarah: So I want to kick it off talking about how you’ve actually been in the construction industry for the past seven years, and what it’s been like. We’re going to talk a lot about feminine energy today. And what has it been like working in a very male-dominated industry for you?

Rebecca: It’s been a journey for sure. I am speaking at a conference on this in a few weeks. The industry as a whole is working to evolve, but it’s still just a very male-dominated world. And even though I have a master’s degree, I got hired into the field as an administrator, where my colleagues in the industry were being hired into positions above that. And this constant feeling like I had to prove myself in a different way from my male colleagues.

I just heard it on another podcast yesterday. I think someone was saying not only do I have to say the right things, but I also have to dress the right way, and I have to say it with the right tone. And it isn’t all about work merit at that point in time. There are so many other considerations that go into every bit of the work. So I, through a lot of meditating and journaling, had to come to terms with what I want out of this experience, not what is the industry telling me to get out of this experience.

Sarah: That’s super interesting. And you were saying there’s a male-dominant world. It’s not just the construction industry or maybe the financial industry. It’s not just any specific industry. We see that in so many different areas. And so, I love hearing your firsthand experience of what that has been like. Especially, seven years is a long time to be in the industry too. Especially in the way things are constantly changing and evolving today. And I’m curious how you’ve actually been able to harness and embrace your feminine within that process as well?

Rebecca: I think through this year and just a lot of internal work that I’ve been doing. How can I just show up authentically? How can I show up as myself in this environment and still be taken seriously, still be respected, feel like I’m doing a good job? But how can I bring my own personality into this more, rather than that constant need to try and conform? So a lot of that has been through, to me, some of the more feminine energy types of perspectives or collaboration, creativity, not being super by the book. Not always having a very linear plan, but some of those more collaborative types of conversations. So I’ve tried to bring that energy into my work to try and figure out again, how I can show up more authentically and more as myself.

Sarah: I am positive you are not the only woman who has felt that gap before as well, whether it’s a male-dominated industry or not. Because we have the statistics that show the wage gap. And I just heard from a friend, she shared a statistic with me last week around how women are also leaving the workforce right now, in droves, because of COVID, and pandemic and schools being shut down and everything as well. I think this is a very pertinent topic to be discussing and seeing the effects of it in our entire society, and also the workforce as well. And I would be curious about what has allowed you to stay, even when things have maybe felt really uncomfortable or edgy for you? Or it became really apparent that, you were using the example of men with similar qualifications and master’s degree were getting higher positions from the get go when you first entered. What has that been like?

Rebecca: Sarah, I know that you’re Enneagram 3 and I am also. And I think there was so much of this I’m gonna prove them wrong type of mentality. And just I’m going to push past this and I’m not going to let this stop me. But in some other way, I also let it define me and kind of keep me in a box. Where it was, I’m gonna prove them wrong and I’m stubborn enough to where I’m going to make this work. But, I’m just a woman in construction, so that label automatically catches me in this other box that I allowed myself to stay in. And this year has really been about breaking out of that, and not letting that victim mentality, or not letting that label define something specific about what that meant for my career.

Sarah: I deeply resonate with all the different aspects of an Enneagram Type 3. If anyone listening is unsure of what that means, the archetype is around the achiever, the overachiever, the super achiever. And you also mentioned Rebecca, that you’re an achiever and strategic on the strength finders test and a manifesting generator. And so, this is in your blood and your internal programming. To work hard and to set big goals. And I’m curious, how has that perfectionism or that achievement, and that drive that motivation within you, helped you, but also hindered you? I’m sure it has done both, because I’ve seen that in my own life experience too, around there are ways this has served me. But, there are also ways that, you were talking about that box, that it was holding you into have really constricted and held you back. I’d love to hear both perspectives.

How to identify your version of perfectionism

Rebecca: On Sundays, I’m really thankful to be a perfectionist. And on other days, I definitely feel the wrath of the pain of what that feels like. I think in certain ways it has helped the quality of my work be excellent. I hold myself to a higher standard than anyone else even has the capacity to do. And so, I produce good quality work. I work really hard. I think that’s helped me excel in my career and grow on that corporate career path. But in other ways, it’s super limiting and it can be almost debilitating to be stuck in that indecision. Where you want to make the quote-unquote correct decision, the right decision. And that kind of analyzation can trap you to where you can’t actually make the choice. Because you never know which one is going to be again, quote-unquote, correct.

Sarah: Yes. That analysis paralysis. It comes up for every perfectionist. What’s it called? I think the book is, A Mans Search for Meaning. I believe that’s the book. And there’s this metaphor of literally opening the folding chair, putting it in the middle of the road and just taking a seat on it. Because you don’t know if you’re supposed to go down the left path, the middle path, the right path, or however many options are laid out in front of you. And therefore, it just feels safer for our nervous system as a perfectionist, to just pause and stop and not take the action. And I think so many people see their perfectionism as something that, it’s like, Oh, my perfectionist is coming out. And they’re mean. They’re mean to that part of themselves. And they just own it. And they are like, I shouldn’t feel maybe that drive to be perfect. I think it’s important to realize that, while it can hold us in a box and it can certainly be the folding chair, and the fork in the road and it can hinder you. You were talking about in your experience, there are ways that it can also benefit you. And I believe that at some point in time, we made the decision that we were going to strive to be as perfect as possible for a reason. Not just for shits and giggles, for some reason, to protect us, to keep us safe. And oftentimes that’s rooted in maybe a traumatic experience.

So, Rebecca, I’m curious if you have any memories of when that perfectionism first began for you? Or any conscious indication and sensing of why it originally served you to have perfectionist behavior?

Rebecca: I’ve done a lot of pouring on this, this year through shadow work, through EMDR work, through a variety of ways to try and unlock that. Why do I have this consistent theme as an individual, that I’m not good enough? And I haven’t gotten to one specific instance or event yet. But I’m the youngest of three and I feel that enough, is a way to say, I want my sisters to like me, I want to play, I want to be part of the group. I want to make everyone like me in this family so that I can be one of the older sisters too. And just this constant need to want to please people. And that started at a very early age, just being the youngest of three.

Sarah:  Yes. To want to fit in, it’s well, if I’m this way or I act this way, or if I do things right, then they’ll accept me. Then I’ll fit in, then I’ll be more loved or likable, which are natural human instincts. But it’s almost the subconscious mind that puts these laws, rules, regulations around who we have to be in order to get those things.

Rebecca: Yes. And I like to think of all these aspects of my personality, sitting around a conference table.

Sarah: I love that.

How to recognize when your perfectionist is showing

Rebecca: Because I work in corporate. And so, the conference table makes sense to me. And there’s different parts of it leading the meetings sometimes. Sometimes my fear is that the head of the table, sometimes my perfectionist self is at the head of the table. We all have these little aspects of ourselves. And so, when I can realize that and when I can really bring that to the forefront, then I can say, I hear you perfectionist self, thank you. Thank you for being there. Thank you for getting me where I am, but I need you to step aside and let other people speak up at this conference table to have a say. Rather than letting them just keep continuing to run the meeting.

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Sarah: It seems based on, there are all these different personality type quizzes and you shared a few of yours and the results you have. So it seems a lot of the voices at the table would lean more towards perfectionism. And I’m curious what are the telltale signs and hints for you, that you can notice in your behavior or your thoughts that Oh, that’s one of the perfectionist voices coming out? Is there a way for you to catch it?

Rebecca: Yes, I have started catching it a lot more recently when I start to get stuck in indecision. I was buying my husband, our first wedding anniversary present. And just dwelling and dwelling and dwelling. And then I caught myself dwelling on it for too long, but I also caught myself wanting to ask someone else’s opinion of it. And that was a big trigger to me. Do I actually need someone else’s approval for this to make it up here as the correct decision? Or, what am I looking for in that approval for someone else, or that other person’s opinion? So that was another big trigger to me, was the need or the desire to reach out to someone else for their input.

Sarah: Yes. Going back to that analogy of the conference table, because I think that’s so clear and we can all think about who sits at our own conference table. And what are those different voices that might lead the show, run the meeting at any given time? What would you say, at least for you, are some of the more, maybe supportive or loving voices that you try to then tap into when the perfectionist is really loud and critical and in that indecision or whatever the behavior is?

Rebecca: I think definitely the nurturing, loving side. Where there is a thank you perfectionist, I do appreciate that you’re here and I appreciate that you’re at the table. I don’t need to criticize that. I do appreciate you, but there’s also a very reasonable side to myself. That’s, this just doesn’t matter. Why are you spending your energy on this? One of the big questions I like to ask myself is, will this matter in five minutes, five hours, five days, five weeks, five months, five years? And use that to prioritize where my energy goes. If it’s not going to matter in five hours or five days or whatever, let it go. Just make a decision to move on, because whatever the decision is doesn’t actually really matter.

Sarah: Do you feel, and I’m just curious your take on, if you feel sometimes the taking action in the face of the critical, fearful perfectionist voice is sometimes what gets us through to the other side, to healing the perfectionist? Just being, I see that you’re being super critical, even with the gift that you were talking about, the first-anniversary gift for your husband, and just taking action anyway. Do you feel like that’s part of breaking the rigidity of the inner perfectionist within us?

Rebecca: I think it can be. However, I do think that as a perfectionist, we can also dwell on, did I make the right decision? Was that the right thing?

Sarah: That’s true.

Rebecca: Linger on it for a really long time. So I feel separating yourself from that a little bit, and getting over to your values, meditating, prioritizing where your energy goes. Is a better way to work with some of your perfectionist tendencies, because there is still such a way for it to linger around.

Sarah: That’s such a good point. Where you’re, okay, I just jumped into the pit of flaming fire. Anyways, screw you perfectionist. But then you’re, Oh wait, why did I do that? Or there’s still that internal dialogue was this the right choice? Was there a warm bath that I could jump into instead?

Rebecca:     What’s the return policy? How can I…

Sarah: Yes, just keep going. I would love, because I think that the perfectionist archetype within so many of us, shows up in so many different ways. Can you talk a little bit about how that has showed up more specifically for you in your journey, your health, your life, your relationships?

Rebecca: I think it’s been there for so long where it’s just this constant need. I feel mine has shown up a lot as a need for other people’s approval. And really needing to make straight A’s, and have a good career, and make ‘x’ amount of money, and have this type of relationship, or whatever, as a way to gain other people’s approval of me.

Sarah: That makes a lot of sense. And I see that in my own journey as well. Around having that achiever in me to wanting to more than anything, just be perfect in order to receive love and acceptance, acknowledgment. To just hear those words of I’m proud of you. And again, the rules inside my own head that were created at some point that said, in order for that to happen, Sarah, you need to be perfect. And then, that definition of perfect, sounds similar at least, to yours, around having a successful career. And for me, it was looking a certain way and having even a partner that my family liked, and all of these different things that were also based in control. Do you see control coming out for you as a perfectionist as well?

Rebecca: It does. And something you just said, I definitely caught it. Where you said you made those worlds in your head, nobody else. We inflict a lot of this on ourselves as achievers and perfectionist type people. Where we think these are expectations that other people are putting on us, but we’re putting them on ourselves. So I just wanted to point that out. But definitely, control comes along with it, for sure. Just the need to control my own actions in such a way that they are going to meet the quote-unquote requirements of being right or perfect or whatever.

Sarah: Yes. And controls also, very much in the masculine energy of, here’s the linear path that I’m going to take and I’m going to do it in order. And my end goal is this, and I’m going to get there, come hell or high water. It’s going to happen. I’m going to have control over every step of the process. And so, we started, in the beginning, talking a little bit about the feminine energy and I’d love to circle back to just how the feminine energy can be. So nurturing, supportive for the recovering perfectionist. How have you seen that play out for you or for people in your life?

Rebecca: I feel meditation has been one of my biggest shifts this year. Specifically having that time that isn’t planned, where I don’t have to achieve anything or that I don’t have to accomplish anything. But time is just for me to be here and to be present. And that’s the only point of it, has been imperative for me to really shift my mindset and understand again, what those values are, what those priorities are. It just brings everything into perspective a little bit, when you can devote that time to just be. I just am, I’m not a woman in construction. I’m not an achiever. I don’t have to fit any of those molds at those times, I just am. And that can be so freeing and so liberating.

The freedom that comes from setting aside time to “just be”

Sarah: It’s so against. I know for at least myself, and my life experience, how I was brought up, and what I was taught to do is just do, do, do. And there wasn’t a lot of emphasis on the ‘be’ and the dropping of those labels that you were mentioning, and having the unstructured time and not having a plan. And for me, when I started to step into more the ‘be’ versus the ‘do’ that the feminine, instead of the masculine, it was actually quite jolting. Ooh, is this safe? My achiever voice came right back up to the surface and was, you’re lazy. You’re not productive, you’re wasting your time. And it got mean. And have you noticed any similar internal dialogue and how were you able to transition more into that ‘be’ energy, and allow there to be no plan, and allow it to still feel safe? Because I think that’s where a lot of people struggle if they are, is it really safe to stop doing? Does that make sense?

Rebecca: It does. But for me it became, I’ll use the word again, imperative as part of my being. I just need that now. I need that break where I’m not putting so much pressure on myself to be in a certain way.

Sarah: That’s a great point. And so many of my listeners have a journey with chronic illness or autoimmune disease and sometimes our body literally forces us or shows us in big, glowing neon lights in our intuition, like slow the fuck down. This is not a choice anymore you have to slow down. And I know I had a huge cycle of burnout over and over again in order to really integrate that lesson. Until it finally was, okay, this ‘being’ period, this ‘being’ time is just as productive and beneficial, that as my doing time, that my inner achiever was so honestly addicted to.

Rebecca: Yes. And I think through that, a lot of it was meditating. Again, I mention some shadow work, journaling. I’ve taken a lot of your courses and work inside of your containers with breathwork and things like that. I realized going back to the very beginning of our conversation again, how do I want to structure this? So I’m getting what I want out of my career, and I’m not just continuing to fit the mold of what the industry is expecting of me. Once I realized that, I was able to break out of that box, that I was keeping myself in, of being that women in construction and trying to fit this mold. I literally called a friend of a colleague of mine in the industry. And I was, I don’t want to play the victim anymore. And two weeks later I had a new job offer. I was invited to speak at a very large conference in the industry. I was invited to sit on a construction podcast as well, your podcast came in shortly after. And all of these things just started falling into my lap, once I could release the control and be, okay, I’m open to something outside of what’s happening right now, because it isn’t working for me.

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Tools to help you find your way out of perfectionism and balance the feminine + masculine

Sarah: That reminds me probably six years ago at this point, maybe 5, I had an energy healer. It’s so simple and it’s so obvious, yet for me, it was a giant aha moment. And she said, Sarah control is limiting. And I was, what? Control is safe, it’s empowering. Control is the way I’m going to live my life. And she’s, no. When you were trying to control all of these different areas and buckets of your life in every single damn way, you are closing yourself off to so many additional opportunities.

So many things that are great instead of just good. And, it just clicked for me in that moment of, Oh my God, I am. By thinking I have all the answers and thinking, I know what’s best for me. I’m actually holding myself back from the growth that could be right there on the other side. If I stepped into more of that feminine, that release, that surrender, instead of trying to grasp so hard onto that control. Just reminded me of that when you were saying all these opportunities are now opening up for you, as you start to surrender and you start to drop into the control.

And I know for some people surrender sometimes has a different definition of the white flag I give up. And the way I’m talking about surrender is more I release control. And I open up to the possibilities that are on the other side.

Rebecca: And I think another kind of feminine energy realm that I’ve started enjoying is working with the moon cycles and using that for intention setting. And paying attention to the phases of the moon and how that can play into the phases of intention setting and manifestation and things like that.

Sarah: So I’m curious how you have, I think of the moon as something that is so feminine and it’s so cyclical, like our female bodies and our hormones and our menstrual cycles. But for me, before I got pregnant my menstrual cycle was absolutely in sync to the day, with the moon. It was so freaking amazing and fascinating. And how have you been able to harness that power and that feminine energy with the moon?

Rebecca: I just started a lot of this work that we do inside of your container and things like that. It’s learning to trust our intuition. And I was just feeling this draw towards the moon. So I just paid attention to that feeling. And I started understanding what the phases were about, how to work with them. And I just published a journal this year that combined, and we can talk about it in a little bit, that combines moon phases with your taro or Oracle card practice. But one thing I was just thinking about when we were talking about masculine and feminine, is I almost feel the journal allows a balance between those two. Because it’s all about the moon phases, but it gives you a structured approach to the moon phases. Okay. The new moon is for intention setting is the part that I’m going to do today. The crescent moon is for focusing on the details of that intention and really digging into that. And the journal prompts you through those moon phases to think about each one of those steps. It brings a little bit of a plan into that super feminine energy world.

Sarah: And we need that blended approach. If you’re constantly in the masculine, you can see even from our examples around burnout, personally. That’s not going to serve you. If you’re only in the feminine, you’re never going to be taking any action or setting the actual intentions with the new moon. So that blended integrated approach is what allows each of us to, because we all have that energy of masculine and feminine within us naturally. Even if we tend to be dominant in one way or the other, regardless of gender. To be able to bring it back into this wholeness, this integration to be able to, for me, it feels really powerful to have that balanced approach.

And I’d love to, I don’t know if you have the journal anywhere near by, or if you have any of it memorized off the top of your head. But I’d love an example of even a page or one of the exercises you have of what would you do, let’s say on a new moon? How would you pair that with your Oracle or taro cards in order to be able to see clarity, guidance, set that new intention, in that phase, that cycle.

Rebecca: So most days are just a half-page journal area with prompts, specifically around the phase of the moon. But for the new and full moon, I have whole two page spreads for journal space. And some of the questions, specifically, around the new moon, as you just mentioned, are, what are my intention? How do I feel today? Which is on every single date of the whole year. So you can check in with your feelings compared to the moon phase. We’ll get really jazzed up and energized during the full moon. Some people get really tired, understanding those phases that we go through throughout ther month, it’s just a great way to do that quick check in with yourself. How can I create abundance in my life, is another one for the new moon. Again, what is my intention for this cycle? So, for the next 28 days, what am I really trying to accomplish? How can I accomplish that? And then a space to what I will call, draw your spreads. So, when you have your Oracle cards that you’re using and you want to do three cards, you want to do a cross, you want to do whatever type of spread do you want to do. I like to draw them out because I’m a visual person and see how I how I drew them for that phase. And then, use that to really inform, what you need to know that day? How is this going to affect your cycle? Whatever question you end up asking the cards that day.

Sarah: Is there a deck that you recommend using with the journal and these different questions and spreads? Or is it super open, people can use a different deck at time?

Rebecca: People can use a different deck any time. The other unique thing about the journal is there’s a tracker. What I will call a tracker. So on January 1st, it is a crescent moon and I pulled the world, and the emperor, and the forecast. And you can mark that and do a chart, or whatever. And then the next day, still a crescent moon, and you pull three other cards and you can mark them on a chart. So again, it gives you a visual view of what cards you hold, but you can also write in your own Oracle cards on that same tracker.

So if you’re using Oracle cards, instead of taro, you can write in your own Oracle deck and track the cards that you’re pulling from that, instead. And then again, every day, there’s a couple of consistent questions, which is a reflection. Just a reflection from the day, your intention to remind you every day, what your intention is. So you’re continuing to write that every day, how you’re feeling, which we talked about with the moon cycle and then what deck you’re using. So you can always remind yourself which deck you’re using. Yes, because I switch my decks up all the time.

Sarah: Same, but I like to remember what deck I pulled from. And sometimes I like to go back to the cards and just whether it’s looking at them again and using my own intuition to interpret, or there’s a couple of decks that I do really use the accompanying guidebook with, not many of them. But there’s a couple that I often pull that book out and like to go back and read and remember some of those things.

This is a personal opinion, but I’m curious what your take is on this, because we’re talking about tarot and Oracle. And I feel tarot has a slightly more masculine energy, whereas Oracle has a more feminine energy. And my reasoning behind that is that the taro is more defined. They have more set in stone meanings, interpretations behind, like you mentioned the world card, or the fool, or the tower or something versus Oracle. And maybe it’s just the way that I use them and I interpret. But I use Oracle in a way that’s a little more fluid I guess, and open to interpretation, open to my imagination and whatever I’m intuiting or picking up on the card. Do you feel that way or do you feel differently?

Rebecca: I don’t feel differently. I think that’s a great way to describe it. I have had several friends recently, and I will be doing a live Zoom on the difference between tarot and Oracle because they are really different. And I think that’s a great way to explain them, because the taro is so much more structured and has more what I will call rules around it. Or, it’s such a long-standing tradition that of course, it has that built in.

Sarah: Yes, exactly. It goes way back. There’s such a long standing history and I teach this inside of Illuminated, the whole history of how Carta Mancy and how tarot and Oracle cards were come to be created. And it’s fascinating. And tarot has been around for longer. And the cards had also stayed consistent and the same, over I think it’s a couple hundred years. So whereas, I could create my own Oracle card deck today and birth it brand new into the world.

Rebecca: And I think even within my own experience, I feel it tends to be a more feminine energy-led experience, if I draw the card, and sit with it and look at it and think about it. Rather than reaching for the guidebook and looking for what they’re telling me what the meaning is. Which I feel is a more masculine energy of pull the card, read the answer, move on, but bringing some of that feminine energy into it, but sitting with it and letting your intuition tell you what that card means for you.

Sarah: You mentioned before that, and I’m so deeply honored to have you in several of the Uncensored Empath courses and the Empath Leaders Membership, and there are parts of those journeys that have helped you to get more clear and confident in your path, your journey. And I’m curious if there are any tools that you are feeling inspired to share stories that you would want to share with the audience today?

Rebecca: Yes. One of the groups I’m super thankful for is your Empath Leaders group. That’s a monthly membership and with you, you can equate it again, but we have a breath work session, a group coaching call, benefits to some of your other courses, several benefits. But one great thing I’ve gotten from it is the community inside of that group and these other women that are there working with you and what we can learn from each other. How we can work together to collaborate in this community and do giveaways together, or promote each other’s work on Instagram. That community has built a special connection in that way, which has been really, really cool.

Sarah: I feel you, the amazing women inside have given it a life of its own, that I wasn’t even expecting. Where my heart feels so warm and full every time I see you guys collaborating or holding each other accountable. Or you mentioned you were chatting with Natalie over the weekend. And I’m, Oh, I just fucking love this, because there is this life that it does take on in this community. That is so supportive and so beautiful that I think in the year of 2020, especially, we crave more than ever is that connection and sense of belonging somewhere in this crazy fucking world.

Rebecca: And I don’t even know if you know this Sarah, but some of us inside that group formed accountability partners with each other. And so, Natalie is my accountability partner, so that made it another way to check in with people again, about our intentions, or what we’re trying to manifest, or what we’re working on, and what our goals are. And have some of that accountability to it as well, to where we want to follow up with it because there’s someone else checking in with us about it.

Sarah: I love that. And I didn’t know you guys that, it’s so freaking cool. Okay. So we’re at the top of our time, but we were going to end. There’s a new moon that, when this episode gets released, will have just happened. And it’s new moon in Libra. And we were going to pull a card. You are going to pull a card, and just give the listeners, the audience, some insight into the energy and guidance around this new moon, as we were just talking about tuning into how your body feels. Because it’s not necessarily the same as everyone else’s journey in any certain time of the cycle or the year or whatever. It’s a really great way to just even start to get more into that being in that feminine and noticing, and being in even just this witnessing of yourself. So, you want to do that now Rebecca?

Rebecca: Yes! So I’m using the Star Seed Oracle today. 

Sarah: I love that one.

Rebecca: I love this deck, especially for people who haven’t done a ton of work with cards. To me, I feel like this is a super approachable deck and I really enjoy the messages from it as a whole. I’ll throw that out there too, for people who are new to that or to cards in general. I pulled a star bathing card. On it, it says light body, crystal grid, transmission, and activation. And the word activation is super standing out to me as part of this conversation, with just all the actions that we can take to connect more with our higher selves and get rid of some of the worldly pressures or perfectionist stuff that we’re putting on ourselves. And I feel this card is a call to action to get out of your head and connect with your higher self and connect more with the universal truth. I’m not seeing anything else. I don’t know if you’re getting anything else.

Sarah: I am so on board with that and the visual that’s coming through that represents everything you just said, in my mind, is back to that conference room table. Where we have all these different voices inside our head and the activation part being, okay, so I’m going to consciously intentionally choose that the head of the table is more of this universal intelligence. And the intuition and this nurturing feminine, figurehead, queen energy that is you’re inviting to run the show. And even if that’s brand new for somebody, trying that on for size and just seeing how that does sit and how your body responds to it in order to, what was it, star bathing. I feel that’s such a warm blanket of stardust around us right now, that we can step into if we consciously choose.

Rebecca: Yes, for sure.

Sarah: Well, thank you so much. We have a couple little announcements for the listeners today. Rebecca is going to share how to find her journal and also some amazing bonuses that you guys can get.

Rebecca: Yes. So my website is findyoursoulspark.com. I work with perfectionist as a coach, on just getting out of your own way, getting rid of some of those limiting beliefs that are holding us back and being able to connect with your soul purpose. But the journal that we talked about is for sale on that website, which again, is findyoursoulspark.com. And there it’s a presale right now. So the book will not ship until December, but there’s an ongoing promotion on the website, where the first 75 people who purchase, which there’s still a couple of those left. So still a couple out there for your listeners, hopefully by the time this airs. Which is a bookmark to use with the journal, a small bottle of cedar wood oil, which is great for grounding. A crystal, of various kind, whatever crystal you’re supposed to get, you’ll get. And similar with a manifestation card with a message for you. Everyone gets a different message. So that kit is available as part of the presale promotion. But Sarah, for your listeners specifically, I want to offer an extra incentive, which is a free year-long membership to Thrive Market. Which is a one-stop shop for organic food, clean beauty, non-toxic home supplies, all delivered straight to your doorstep. So for the first 30 listeners of yours, that use the code “EMPATH” at checkout, I have a free year subscription to Thrive Market, which is a $60 value.

Sarah: That’s amazing. Thank you so much for just showering our listeners with love and for also being able to share with us, this amazing project that I know as a workbook author over here, just how much goes into that process. And it is a labor of love. I’m so proud of you. Congratulations on getting this out into the world. Also, you guys have seen a little sneak peek of it and it’s gorgeous and beautiful. We’ll put the link in the show notes. And Rebecca said that code is “EMPATH” if you want your extra bonus, when you pre-order and it ships in December. Rebecca, thank you for being on the show today, as always just so fun to connect with you and hearing your wisdom.

Rebecca: I really appreciate it. And one last note, I forgot to mention presale ends October 25th.

Sarah: Perfect.

Rebecca: Six or seven days to get in on it.

Sarah: Yes. Yes. So get your orders before the end of the day, October 25th, for those extra incentives.

Rebecca: Sarah, I appreciate all the things I’ve gotten from you and your containers, and all of the support. So thank you so much for having me.

Alright. So I know most of you have, at some point at least thought, if not have, worked with a psychic or a medium on your journey. I’ve worked with many, but honestly it’s so hard to find someone who I’ve resonated with and who I trust. So I’m super excited to introduce you to Emily, The Medium. And she has a brand new podcast where you can go and you can get intuitive guidance. And she is someone who is going to show you how to take your gifts to the next level and help you understand how to connect with loved ones after they have passed. Honestly, I never even thought about working with a psychic until after Jordan died. And once he passed, all of these questions popped up into my mind and more than ever. I just wanted to be able to connect to the energy of his soul and his spirit.

And then, it amplified even more with Joe as well. And Emily, The Medium so beautifully steps in to lead you in conversations while channeling the divine, and expanding beyond what is accepted as the truth. On her show, she’s going to help you open your connection to source, and learn to trust your innate abilities as well. Go check her out.

As always. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the Uncensored Empath podcast. If you guys ever want to follow up or connect, just know my DMs are always open to you. You can find me at the Uncensored Empath on all social media platforms. I love, love, love hearing from you and love seeing when you guys share your favorite episodes. As a reminder, there is an Empath Vibes playlist. It is private and hosted on Spotify. To get access, simply leave a five-star review on iTunes or the Uncensored Empath podcast. Screenshot your review before you submit it and email it over to my team at support@theuncensoredempath.com. And we will get you access to this ever-growing playlist.

Connect with Rebecca:

IG: @findyoursoulspark

Website: www.findyoursoulpark.com

Get your journal: www.findyoursoulspark.com/shop

(use code EMPATH for your special offer available only to The Uncensored Empath listeners)

Connect with Sarah:

Instagram | Facebook Community | Pinterest | YouTube

Work with Sarah:

Online courses | 1:1 coaching | Send show requests to sarah@theuncensoredempath.com!

This post contains affiliate links. We may receive a small commission for purchases made through these links. Thank you for your support!

October 23, 2020

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