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Welcome to the Uncensored Empath, a place for us to discuss highly sensitive energy illness, healing, and transformation. My name is Sarah Small, and I’m a life and success coach for empaths who want to create a thriving body, business, and life. Think of this podcast as your no-BS guide to navigating life, health and entrepreneurship. You’ll get straight to the point, totally holistic tips from me in real-time as I navigate this healing and growth journey right beside you. This is a Soul Fire production.
Hello. Hello, happy December. Isn’t that crazy. This year has been quite the whirlwind. I can’t believe it’s December and we’re starting to wrap up 2020, but it’s here. We are finally wrapping up this very intense, very wild ride of a year. And I was sitting just in reflection earlier today, trying to brainstorm some ideas on what I might bring to today’s episode. What I wanted to share with you and inside of the Empath Leaders Membership, my monthly membership, we had a healing session today, and it was all about self sensory systems, your self sensory system, and your nervous system and getting into your body. And I did a little bit of channeling at the end and a meditation. And I started reflecting on this and just thinking about how this concept of channeling has a certain image or connotation or stereotype, certainly outside of the spiritual world, but also within the spiritual world within this community. And I just wanted to speak to a little bit of that today. Share a little bit of my own journey in learning how to channel energy and messages and talk about how you may experience channeling. You might already be doing it and you don’t even know. And just some of the things that helped me identify when I’m in that flow.
I also pulled three cards for the Uncensored Empath podcast community. And I want to end in a little bit here with a little bit of a channeled message for you and see what comes up as a message and some guidance, not from me, but from God’s spiritual universe that may help you in the rest of this year, or even just today, or even just this week. So I want to rewind for a second and go back to what I thought channeling was, and it was very much a scene from a movie. It was the gypsy with her crystal ball, and her turban, and her long flowy dress at some little table covered in a cloth with her tarot cards next to her crystal ball. For some reason, I also see a crow on her shoulder and these long fingernails, and this image of an older woman going into trance and channeling these messages or looking into the crystal ball and seeing the future.
And so, it felt very, well, theatrical and it also felt very unattainable. Like it’s something you only see in the wizard of Oz or on witchy movies and that was something I would never actually be able to attain. And honestly, I never had the intention or goal or desire to do that either. I never was curious, but I never thought, Oh, I want to learn how to do that. And at least, when I was younger, for me, a big turning point was when Jordan died. Jordan is the older of my two brothers, well, they’re both younger, but Jordan was just a little under two years younger than me. Whereas, Joe was more four or five years younger than me. And Jordan passed away five years ago. And when he died, all of these questions came up and I’ve talked to you guys about this before, it’s been discussed on the show before, so I’m not going to retell the story of losing him, but it was during that process that I began to question so many things. And you can go back way, way back to an episode called, ‘Coming out of the spiritual closet’.
And I share some of my journaling during that time, and rewinding to the moment when I started to come out of the spiritual closet and started to have these very strange experiences that I didn’t have an explanation for. And this is coming from the woman who was a biology major and wanted to be a doctor and relied on experiments and research articles to tell her everything. And what was right and what was wrong and what was good and what was bad. And when Jordan died, there was no research article. There was no article that explained what I was going through and the experiences that I began having didn’t have a clear explanation. Even when I was trying to find one, because I was often trying to find some sort of very practical, realistic, 3D reality explanation on why some of these things were happening.
And oftentimes I just couldn’t. And so, I started to ask so many questions, what happens when you die? And people have a lot of different theories on that. I also have an episode with Dr. Chris Kerr that talks about end of life experiences that are fascinating, but I didn’t know. And no one could really tell me. And again, certainly not point me to a peer review journal article on what happens in life after death. And so I had to sit with that question that I wouldn’t ever get an agreed-upon answer to, and I had to formulate my own answer. And in that process, I asked a lot of questions, a lot of questions, and I almost unintentionally began to open myself up to more possibilities. And y’all, it is amazing what happens when you simply open yourself up to more possibility when your brain believes a certain thing or a certain way is true.
It is programmed to find evidence that is supportive of that, that only supports that, that backs that up and reinforces that what you believe is true. When you open yourself up to more infinite possibilities, all of a sudden you aren’t just looking for the evidence, this isn’t an unconscious process by the way, but you aren’t unconsciously just seeing the things that support what you believe. And instead, some of the things don’t match up. Well, it could be this way or it can be that way. And I found that really, really fascinating, like, huh, there’s this way. But I’ve also spoken to somebody else who thinks this and all of a sudden, there are this whole melting pot and pit of a bunch of possibilities. And it was when I dipped my toe into that pot of all the different possibilities of what was possible, what I was capable of and what was happening to me and my body, my senses. And what was happening also to my brother’s soul as he left his physical body that began to open my eyes up to something that I hadn’t been taught in school or ever read in a book. And something outside of what was comfortable or even normal for me and beyond what the eye could see.
And as I softened my grip on having all the answers already or needing to know all the answers, or being right all the time, I noticed that my sensory experience began to expand and I started to feel more. And I often explain grief as, at least, my experience with grief as being a very bottled up human emotionally for many, many years. And the grief was so ginormous and heavy that I just cracked. And that in that cracking, yes, there was grief that poured out, but there was also a ton of other stuff that poured out that had been locked up for so long. And for a little while in the immediate aftermath, everything seemed very black and white, and that was helpful in some ways to be able to identify and sort through what was important and what was important in my life.
But as the gray and black and white started to be repainted and recolored, colors began to re-enter into life, but in a whole new vibrancy, a whole new rainbow, this whole different spread of colors. So if it was a 10 pack of crayons before, it was the hundred pack of crayons after. You had so many choices and so many more emotions that I began to experience. And in feeling more of my feelings, I realized that I had been avoiding being present in my body for so long that I don’t even remember, what that felt like. So I started feeling the feelings that allowed me to get present in my body. And in getting present in my body, that channel began to open. It wasn’t a crystal ball. It wasn’t a tarot card. It was getting present. It was allowing myself to be, it was the hundred pack of crayons in my sight, in my hearing, in my smell, and my taste, and my feeling, in my seeing, in my knowing these are your clairsenses.
And they’re all the senses that we use to experience our intuition. And generally, you have one to two more dominant clairsenses, but I believe that we have access, we have the key to open the door to all of these different senses. So while claircognizant, clear knowing maybe your strong suit, you have the ability to tap into a clairtangency, clear touch, or a clairvoyance, clear seeing. And as I got present in my body, my clairsenses became just that, more clear. They were activated. I could see, and I could hear, and I could smell. And I could sense at first, just myself, just my damn self, because I had avoided that for so long. And that’s a whole frigging experience when you just sense and know yourself after avoiding her for so long. And that was when the whole idea of your body sending messages to you became apparent to me in my life.
And I read a lot of books on it. We do have some research on that. And I started to realize that my body was constantly communicating with me and constantly sending me messages, but I drowned them out. I shut that door for a very long time. And as I opened the door back up, I started to not only sense these messages from my body, but interpret them and know what they meant. And now, I have the ability to be able to go, Oh, okay so I’m having some neck tension. Let me ask that some questions. Let me see what message my body is sending me through this tension in my neck. So that was the first layer, the first step, because I didn’t just sit down in a meditation one day and go, I’m going to start channeling, bam go. It was this process and this journey of erupting and bringing more vibrancy into my life, through my senses so that I could perceive more subtle energy. Because, part of channeling is perceiving subtle energy, energy which is not seen by our very limited eyeballs.
It’s beyond what we can see, and oftentimes what we can hear or what we can feel with our hands as well. And so if that’s the case, then my old brain would say, if I can’t see it, I don’t believe that it’s true. And I tested that out a little bit. I hired multiple energy healers and psychics to help me understand what was going on in my body, but also to be able to tap into their ability to have that extrasensory perception of a subtle energy, and of spirit, and of my past loved ones, to be able to connect. Because I still had honed in on my ability quite enough to be able to do that on my own. And in working with these individuals and with just being more present with myself, I started to realize that there was something there. That each layer, each wall that I broke down opened up more feeling. And side note, this was my worst nightmare for many years.
I did not think as an empath, which I didn’t know I was an empath, that I could possibly feel more than I was already feeling. And the idea of feeling even an ounce or a drop more than what I was already feeling was terrifying because it was already so overwhelming. Who would want to subject themselves to that? Why would you want to do that? That was my thinking. I don’t want to feel more things. I’m good. Count me out. But what I realized was, that as I became more present in my body and I had a little bit of the eruption of past locked up emotions, what that did was create space to just feel what was here and now. And I didn’t have to carry around that backpack of all the past, and what’s happening here and now.
Because that’s what made it so overwhelming, it was just an accumulation of stuff. And once I released that, and that was a really important step in this process, then, I could be present without feeling overwhelmed. And I could actually turn the dial-up on my senses when I wanted to, not constantly or all the time. Because I didn’t want to walk around feeling like this exposed wire. So when I desired, I could open that up. I could turn the dial up on that, to be able to gather information beyond what my eye could see, beyond what I could hear with my human ears, beyond what I could hold in my hand in a 3d way. And that’s when I started to realize that by working with these people and going on my own personal journey, but there was a reason to want to do this. And to be able to channel, to be able to pick up on subtle energy was actually a really beautiful gift.
A gift that could provide more insight in my life that could allow me to connect to energy. That could be really, really supportive, helpful, and not just scary. That it would allow me to have a lifelong relationship with my brothers, even though my physical 3D relationship ended with them at their ages of 26 and 25. And that felt really exciting. Yes, I want that. Yes, I want to be able to have a relationship with my brothers for the rest of my life. Yes, I want to be open to guidance. In the beginning, this was all for me. It was all for me, for me, for me, for me, eventually, it led into part of my business and being able to provide that guidance and support and channeling to other people. But in the beginning, it was 100% just for me. And it was really comforting. And I’m talking in these really big, non-concrete ways right now, but that’s what this is.
It’s not okay, step one you do this, step two you do this, step three you do this. And that is how you channel. Okay, go try it out that’s your homework. Done. That’s just not how it works. So I do want to put some of it into more of a concrete, tangible way so you can really understand what this might look like for you. When we channel, when any of us channel, it can happen through any of the senses, it might be pictures that you see, or forms, or colors that you see. And it doesn’t even have to even be in front of you. I was going to say in front of you, but doesn’t have to be in front of you. It can be anywhere. You can also channel through Oracle or tarot cards. I think it’s much easier with Oracle because they’re more open-ended for interpretation.
And I think of them as the door opening. So I pull a card and that the door is cracked open, but my intuition is what’s going to throw the door all the way wide open. They’re just a conversation starter with the superconscious. And the superconscious as a word that sometimes gets thrown around. And I want to be clear on what that means. It’s the access to all information and energy into universal energy. Part of that is the Akashic records that some people can access more specifically. And in that universal energy of the superconscious exist everything, each of our spirits as well. So I think of it as tapping into the superconscious. And that’s why sometimes when we get into a channel flow state, it doesn’t sound like you, it doesn’t feel like you, it doesn’t seem like something you would say. You don’t know where that thought came from.
And that’s because it wasn’t sourced from you. And that’s one of the things that makes channeling, channeling. And this is all in my opinion and my experience, but it doesn’t come from your ego. It doesn’t come from your consciousness. It doesn’t come from just what you know to be true about the world, or your personal experience in your current reality. It opens up this whole fricking doorway to so much more. And so, yes, you’re going to connect to somebody or a name’s going to come through to you of someone you don’t know, that you haven’t met. Or you’re going to say something that is not in your normal vocabulary and be like, huh, I don’t say that word. That was weird. Those things happen all the time. And that is a sign that you are channeling. So we can channel through our clairsenses, through the cards, through writing, I call this automatic writing, or that’s the way I teach it, inside of courses like Intuitive Soul School.
And automatic writing is this opportunity to let it flow through your hand. And people’s handwriting will change. Same thing with the content of what they’re writing, maybe a memory that’s not theirs that they’re writing about. And they’re, that’s not my memory. That’s not my story. No, it comes from the superconscious, or maybe it comes from specific energy that you’re calling in more specifically. So, when I finally realized what was happening and this is all part of spiritual awakening, in this whole damn journey, I was, Oh my God, I think I’m channeling. I think that’s what this is, but I’m not really sure. I don’t really know. And some of the things that stood out to me in that experience was, it doesn’t feel like it’s fully you. It’s almost like you in this bad-ass team of guides are working together to deliver whatever content is coming out, or information is coming out.
And it’s not that you can’t stop talking or writing, if that’s the case. It is not that you can’t pause, but it does feel very flowy. I don’t have to stop and think about what I’m going to say next. I may pause naturally, just to wait for it to come through. But as it comes through, it just comes through. There’s no thinking about it. It’s not in the ego. It’s not in the conscious rational brain. It’s in something greater than that. And we all have the ability to tap into that because we’re all part of it naturally, organically. That is something we’re born with. And I realized that, in this more channeled flow state, that I also did often not fully remember what I said, because, well, it could be an out of body experience. But I wouldn’t say it was a full out of body experience.
I was still in my body, but because it wasn’t being delivered from the conscious mind, I didn’t necessarily capture it as a memory in that moment. And instead, I’m just this, if you can visualize it, literally this open channel, that information is flowing through. So it’s not being stored as we go it’s just flowing through. So, therefore, I don’t have all these little packages of information where I can go, Oh yeah. And one time I was channeling and I said this, and remember it word for word, or even sometimes in paraphrasing. I didn’t remember because it was just more of a through process than a stop, pause, store that away process.
Now, there are times when I do remember parts of it, but not the specifics and not the details. So that’s why I often record myself or I do write it down so that I can go back to it later. And I can remember, especially if it’s something that I want to be remembering for my own guidance. So, there are these little hints that you’re doing it. That’s why I said in the very beginning, you probably are already doing this. And if you’re not, and you want to, you can. It is very much possible and we can practice, and we can get intentional about it. There are even games and exercises you can do, to practice opening up your intuition as a whole. And that would include your clairsenses that we’ve discussed. And as I mentioned in my journey, as those clairsenses opened, I got into my body. I became embodied. And then, I was able to open that crown chakra and that third eye chakra to be a channel to the superconscious. And not just connect to myself in the present moment, but to connect to everything in that present moment. Or again, you could always make a more specific intention around what information you want or energy you want to call in, or a specific guide, or past loved one.
And in that, comes so much possibility. And so that’s why I go back to, wow, I had no interest in this. Zero-interest in doing this in previous stages in my life, because it felt so fucking overwhelming. But as I began to heal, see the messages from my body as actual messages, and listen to them. Clear space so that I could actually be here and not feel overwhelmed. Then there was a hunger, a deep desire to feel more and to go deeper and to play with what was possible. Play with, I can channel really well through the cards now, let’s try channeling just through sound. All right I got that. Let’s channel through clear knowing. Ohh this is fun, and to play with this process in a way that allowed again, all of the clairsenses to open.
Okay. So I told you at the beginning that I would also do a little bit of channeling with some cards for you right now. And before I dive in, I want to preface this by just taking a moment to notice that there doesn’t have to be this major preparation and ritual and ceremony beforehand. There can be. And in the beginning, it helped me a lot to take the time to get into my body before doing this. And that became such a practice that I began to master because I did it so often, that I feel I don’t always need, or it’s not necessary to have this giant ceremony before going into some channeling. And instead, it’s like a switch you just turn on. It’s okay, that’s accessible. It’s accessible whenever I want it to be there. But the beauty is, that you can turn it off as well. So just an observation, because again, there’s this very specific imagery that I think gets thrown around channeling. And it’s, the eyes, the back of your head, and your third eye, light shining and losing control of your entire body, or levitating or something. And that’s simply just not the experience that I have had.
So let’s dive in. First, we’re calling in the mystic of divine love. The mystic of divine love and she’s here. And she has this very motherly, nurturing energy that is almost like a grandmother that pinches your cheeks. Just wants to shower you in love. And I want you to think about how this may apply to what’s going on in your life at this current time, at this moment, and how you may be craving some motherly energy, whether it’s from an external source or whether it’s mothering yourself. She says, love is divine and I am nothing except love. And what I’m hearing is that you’ve forgotten. You’ve forgotten that love is always accessible to you. That it doesn’t just disappear. It doesn’t just go away. And instead it’s always present. It’s always available. Part of it is choice, choosing love. And part of it is just remembering that it’s there, that it exists within you at all times, that you are pure love.
And there’s also this message from the mystic or divine love that is also very motherly. And she says, don’t give up, don’t give up on the hard days, don’t give up on the days when it does feel hard, when you do want to throw in the towel. And now, she’s actually backtracking a bit. She’s, if it’s truly not aligned, throw in the towel, whatever, throw it away. If it’s truly not aligned, but otherwise you are so resilient and you are so capable and she wants you to remember that. And remember to mother yourself, or receive mothering and nurturing in your life. And to be able to access that love that is ever present for you.
Next, I’m going to call in the mistress of the labyrinth. And this energy is stormy. It actually hurts a little. It’s this weight I’m feeling between my shoulder blades, this cracking, lightning energy, this head pain, this constriction. So storm that you want to go away. You want the sun to come back out, and the rainbow to shine across the sky and the white puffy clouds to come back, because the storm has felt hard. This storm has continued to add more and more weight on you in your life. And I want you to, again, just think about how this might describe your year or just what’s been going on or present for you lately. How has it felt like a storm? And the mistress of the labyrinth says my soul knows the way, and the only way out is through.
So there’s this feeling that you’re lost in a maze, and you don’t know what’s going to come next. And you don’t have control. And you don’t know where that turn is going to take you. And all of that can be really fucking uncomfortable. And as human beings, we’re all in the same boat. None of us truly have control. None of us really know what’s down that pathway. And as we sit in this unknown, there’s an invitation that if you wish you can accept. And it’s an invitation to trust. To trust your intuition and a lot of what we’ve been discussing today. Yes. Yes. They’re very glad we discuss what we discussed today, because I sense that if you haven’t already dove into this work, that maybe this will light a little fire to try this out and to see what is possible for you. What’s accessible through your intuition?
Because as we, as empaths, star seed intuitives, highly sensitive beings on this planet, at this time in this space, here and now open up our intuition. There’s a ripple effect of that. There’s a frequency change across the planet because of that. And being highly sensitive, being in tune with our bodies and energy and subtle energy of the world, we sense when there is a frequency change. And sometimes that feels a little disruptive for our nervous system. I’m seeing this anchor. That’s why we have to keep grounding down into our purpose, down into our physical body. And we can’t hang out up in the channel, up in our upper chakras all the time.
So there are some of us who have found this ability and already know this well, but then, what becomes a possibility is that we become too unbalanced. And we hang out up there on the upper chakras, all the time. And I’m just seeing these angels that are, go back down, go back to earth. This is your time to be a human. I know you don’t want to. I know you like floaty, airy, upper chakra stuff. It’s really fun. We love you. Go back into your human body, get grounded, anchor down, anchor down, anchor down to find that balance, to recalibrate.
Lastly, I’m going to call in the princess of mercy. So she’s blowing kisses. There’s this gentleness about her. She’s a mirror for all of us. A reflection in the mirror. And if we look at that reflection, we can see how we can all be more gentle with ourselves, how we can slow down, how we can take a deep breath, how we can give ourselves grace and mercy. And she’s also pointing off into the distance. And as she points off into the distance, it’s this reminder that maybe there’s somebody in your life that also deserves some grace and some mercy. You may have an inkling of who that is, more specifically for you. So she says giving is receiving. The energy of the universe is merciful.
There’s this invitation here to really take inventory of the abundance in your life. She’s like not just money, not just money, that’s not what abundance means. It’s not what abundance means. To take inventory of the less considered abundance that is around you. The abundance of air, the abundance of water, the abundance of love. You can consider. She’s, it’s okay to consider material things. They’re part of it. The abundance of clothes, or abundance of shoes, or abundance of pets. Sounds like some of you have an abundance of pets. And to really take inventory of that abundance, and not in a way that’s to shame you or make you feel guilty. Like you have too much, quite the opposite. She’s blowing that kiss again. It’s no, when you’re well supported and well cared for, and you feel abundant, it allows you to give. And back to that message, giving is receiving, giving is receiving.
So there’s all this inventory of abundance that surrounds each of us, this aura of abundance. And beside her is a tiger and she’s holding an apple. And in the context of this abundance, she just plucked one little apple from these very fruitful trees all around. So if you think about, you’re a hundred percent full abundance, this is less than 1% of it. And she’s just asking, if you might consider giving that? Somewhere, somehow, something, whether it’s time, energy, money, gifts donations. And I’m hearing that this is going to be part of the evolution of the planet, is giving more. We’ve been receiving and taking for so long, taking, taking, taking. And that blowing of the kiss and the apple are these representations of giving back to the earth, giving back to your community, giving back to your family, giving back to maybe an organization.
Yes. And I’m hearing you humans like to give at the end of the year. Why does it have to be the end of the year? What if this is a practice that just nourishes you, and creates even more abundance for you in your life? Even if it means giving away, because giving is not just giving away. It’s not just letting go of, it’s not a lack. It’s actually receiving.
And lastly, I just want to tap into this tiger. And the tiger it’s fierce. It’s a fierceness. It’s a fierceness. It’s resilience. It’s an almost stoicism to be able to have journeyed through the last 12 months of this year. And to be here now, and to maybe not have arrived here unweathered, unscraped, unscarred. Maybe there have been some storms, some cuts, some scrapes burns, and here’s an invitation to let yourself feel whatever feelings, those things bring up. And, also know how resilient you are.
There’s this turtle and the turtle reminds her of that age old saying of “slow and steady wins the race’. That if you didn’t accomplish everything that you wanted to accomplish this year, that it’s okay. They’re pointing at me. I didn’t either. I didn’t either. I did not accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish this year. Yes. And maybe that’s a permission slip for you. And that just because it’s the end of a year, doesn’t mean that you missed a deadline. You didn’t miss any deadlines. There’s still time. There’s still time. And maybe there’s beauty in letting this process take a little bit longer than we thought, or we wanted, or we tried to control.
Okay. I think that’s all I’m feeling. Everything’s complete and we can just close that up. And each of you is going to receive something different or have something stand out uniquely to them from what was just shared. But I would really, really love for you to share with me. You can DM me over on Instagram or Facebook at the Uncensored Empath or Sarah Small. And what did stand out to you? What resonated, what hit home? What are you going to take away from this episode? Whether it’s stepping into your own ability as a channel, which has many names as well. Or is it something in the message that came through today? Or is it maybe just a curiosity that you haven’t explored? Like I was talking about in the beginning in my own journey and curiosity that led me all the way to here, all the way to here today.
I wish you so much love on your journey. I’m feeling just encouraged and called to encourage you all to really lean into trust, over the next several weeks. Trust the timing of things, even if it feels frustrating as hell, because I’ve had that feeling this year. And to actually surrender into trust, at least, around the timing of things. Has let go of some of the pressure and stress and constriction around trying to force and control. All right. Y’all I love you so much. I hope to hear from you in my DMS, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week, and year.
All right. So I know most of you have at some point, at least thought, if not have worked with a psychic or a medium on your journey, I’ve worked with many, but honestly, it’s so hard to find someone who I’ve resonated with and who I trust. So I’m super excited to introduce you to Emily, The Medium. And she has a brand new podcast where you can go in and you can get intuitive guidance. And she is someone who is going to show you how to take your gifts to the next level, and help you understand how to connect with loved ones after they’ve passed. Honestly, I never even thought of working with a psychic until after Jordan died. And once he passed, all of these questions popped up into my mind and more than ever. I just wanted to be able to connect to the energy of his soul and his spirit and that amplified even more, with Joe as well. And Emily, The Medium so beautifully steps in to lead you in conversations while channeling the divine, and expanding beyond what is accepted as the truth. On her show, she’s going to help you open your connection to source and learn to trust your innate abilities as well. Go check her out.
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December 8, 2020