Ep. 78 HOW TO STOP FORCING YOUR HEALING (FOR ALL YOU TYPE A PEOPLE OUT THERE)

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In this episode, I discuss:

In this free coaching episode, I answer the following question:

“How do I stop trying to “force” myself back into health and simply allow for the healing to take place in its own way? I feel like getting better is all I can think about…I obsess over always eating the “right” food, taking all of the “right” supplements and doing all the “right” things (meditation, yoga, etc.), but I feel like it’s just creating even more stress in my body, which could actually be slowing down my healing instead of supporting it. I would love some tips on how to release my overly-analytical mind from driving my current “controlling” behavior when it comes to my health…how can I realign my energy with peace/calm/acceptance versus hyper-vigilance/stressful worrying?”

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Episode Transcript:

Hello friends. Have you noticed that you can get caught up in consuming content or maybe you noticed you are hyper, hyperfocused on the doing? Empaths we often consume. And I know because that was me too; soaking up information from all of my favorite teachers and mentors. But it wasn’t until I started focusing more on the being and embodiment work that the door to massive clarity was finally unlocked and I no longer got confused about what was my energy versus everybody else’s. I was able to become a more clear channel for creation and as a result, transform my life, business, and health. In fact, my meditation and embodiment practice is what helped me have a nearly $40,000 month this past January, see the highest downloaded month of the podcast, and finally release a lot of unnecessary stress. And my clients felt it and saw it in their lives too.

It wasn’t reading more articles; it wasn’t doing more busywork. So I’m inviting you to graduate from the spongy empath consumer into the self-activated sovereign healer. You can take your podcast listening experience from, ooh, I feel seen, heard, and inspired to holy shit, I actually feel different. My being has shifted. I am the embodiment of the woman I desire to be. The Third Eye Collective is a simple way to upgrade your experience and commit, not only to a meditation practice that compliments your healing but also receive personalized coaching so you can be clear on what direct actions to implement into your highest goals. There are two simple ways to get involved at 11 or $22 a month with no commitment. So if this is calling your name, join this amazing and growing community.

Welcome to the Healing Uncensored Podcast. My name is Sarah Small and I’m a holistic business coach and intuitive healer who supports empaths in creating a thriving body, business, and life. Healing my own chronic illness as an empath led me to become fascinated with energy and more specifically all of the emotional, spiritual, and holistic healing modalities that my doctor never told me about. I began to share my insights and journey online and over time built a powerful community and business supporting women who are also on their path to healing. Think of this podcast as your uncensored and no-BS guide to navigating life, health, and entrepreneurship as a highly sensitive person. You’ll get no-nonsense and totally holistic tips from me in real time as I navigate this healing journey right beside you. Now let’s get started.

The perfectionist Type A kind of woman

Welcome to today’s episode. So if you are a perfectionist, recovering or current perfectionist, if you are a Type A kind of woman, where you like things to be tidy and organized and to do things “perfectly,” and you try to, attempt to control pretty much all aspects of your life, maybe some more than others, then this episode is definitely for you. I want you to just take a moment and notice, reflect on your own life, and ask yourself, has this controlling behavior and perfectionism seeped over into my healing? Has it allowed me to get a little controlling around my food and my diet and my supplements, and what’s good and what’s bad? And what can I do and can I not do? And did I make it to the gym five times this week? And did I eat enough greens today? If that really feels like you, you’re going to love this question from Allison today. We’re going to dive into how to release all this perfectionism and control around your healing as well as how to just invite more joy and celebration into the process. So here we go.

How do I stop trying to force myself back into health and simply allow for the healing to take place in its own way? I feel like getting better as all that I can think about. I obsess over always eating the “right” food, taking all the “right” supplements, and doing all the “right” things, like meditation, yoga, et cetera. But I feel like it’s just creating even more stress in my body, which could actually be slowing down my healing instead of supporting it. Who can relate? I would love some tips on how to release my overly-analytical mind from driving my current controlling behavior when it comes to my health. How can I realign my energy of peace, calm, acceptance versus hypervigilance, stressful worrying? Thank you.

Perfect. So yes, I totally get this. I understand. And you just want to get better, right? It’s like, I just want to feel better, I just want to feel well again. But remember that it’s not just one thing that led to this point that makes you feel shitty, or that led to chronic illness, or that it allows you to or caused you to feel this physical symptom that you’re feeling now. Instead, it was a bucket that was filling up over time; filling, filling, filling, filling, and getting to the point where eventually it overflowed. And then you may have got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease or a chronic illness or experienced symptoms that just never went away. But those symptoms don’t necessarily just appear out of nowhere and you already know this. But it is a compilation. It is an accumulation of stuff over time and that stuff can be a number of things. But it’s not just this one thing that led to this so therefore the healing process is not going to be one thing, oh, I fixed this, I take this pill, or I just balanced the hormones, or I just get rid of the toxins, or I just whatever. Or I changed, I just remove gluten, I just cut out dairy. Those are not comprehensive ways of looking at the body and our healing.

So my suggestion to you, Allison, is to celebrate every small win along the way. You can take pictures to document it. I love doing this. I just did this for my tooth removal and many of you followed along that journey on Instagram. And I got a tooth removed and I took pictures of my face all throughout this process. And I’ve got one more final photo to take and then I’m going to share it with you guys. But it was amazing to see. And because I was documenting it, and you don’t have to share it with anybody, you can just keep it to yourself, but it’s so cool to see how your body changes over time. The coloring of your eyes, the whites of your eyes, the life in your face, the glow in your face, the color of your skin, the, for me, pigment of my skin, the energy that you have; to celebrate that. And many of us hold weight or inflammation; to see how the inflammation decreases in the body. I always tell people how I lost a size and a half, almost two shoe sizes when I cut out gluten and I changed my diet just from inflammation. So it’s fun to document it so that you can celebrate it so you can see the change in your body.

You can also keep a celebration journal where you’re documenting, oh my gosh, I realized, today I woke up for the first time in three years, I don’t have anxiety anymore. Celebrate that. Whether it’s a big win like that or it’s a small win like last night I slept through the night. And it could be a big or a small win for you, it doesn’t matter. But celebrate it all, document it, and find gratitude in every single one of those wins. Every little step you take, every bit of progress you make along this healing journey, can you find gratitude in it? You put your feet on the ground every single morning when you walk or step out of your bed and you say, thank you for this life; for this life that I have right here, right now, and for everything I have in this life. Thank you for the breath that enters my lungs when I wake up this morning. So this may be a long journey, but you’re doing so well. You’re doing so well. I want to remind you and every one of this; you are doing so well.

So you might be doing all of these things however often or all the time, where it’s like I’m doing all the right things, but how often do you just let yourself be? How often do you allow yourself to just be? So not that there’s negative benefits of yoga or drinking green juice or something like that. But we need to balance that with also nothingness, with the creative cycle, which is “be, do, have,” and that pause, which is the “be” part of the cycle that allows us to decompress and debrief and to experience and to receive the intuitive downloads and channels. So even though you’re doing so many good things, we have to balance that with just ‘being’ as well. So I have an affirmation for you, which is “I am healing at the perfect pace. My body gets healthier every single day and I am so open to receive all of this deep, deep healing.” I would love for you to repeat that affirmation and see how that shifts things for you as well.

So doing the right things isn’t slowing you down on your healing necessarily, but the mental stress that might be coming along with it absolutely is. We have seen so much research now that shows how much stress impacts our health, our life, our life span, how long we live as well. So how can you release the stress if any stress is around this? And you indicated there was. How can you release the stress? I see this over and over and over again in my community and women that I work with, where women are eating perfectly and they’re exercising and they’re meditating and they’re journaling and they feel like they’re doing everything right. They’re very Type A even in their healing where they’re like, check, okay, I’m going to take today, check, write for five minutes in my journal, check, and they’re not really making strides forward, even though they’re checking all those boxes off. Well, even though on the surface, they’re doing everything right, they’re stressed as fuck about it. And that stress sabotages everything.

So in as many ways as possible, I want you to let that stress go. And that could be by releasing a commitment that you have that’s not necessarily required or vital or super necessary for you to be committing yourself to, it could be taking more breaks, it could be taking a vacation, it could be scheduling in self-care and self-care gets to be whatever you want it to be. It might be saying ‘no’ more or reframing a situation, changing your internal inner dialogue from I have to heal perfectly, or I have to be perfect to heal, or I have to do it in this way that’s so Type A of check, check, check, check, check, changing that dialogue of, okay, I’m doing this perfectly to I heal most quickly when I’m in a joyful state, in a joyous place. I heal when I’m happy. I heal when I’m in flow. I heal when everything feels good around me. So that that shift in itself is a huge transformation from I have to be perfect to heal and I have to control these things in order to heal and to make progress to I get to heal when I feel good so let’s just do what feels good. I get to heal when I’m happy so what makes me happy? I get to heal when I’m in flow so let’s stop trying to control everything and allow yourself to flow. Okay.

Celebrate the wins

So I think you got this; I know you got this. And you are healing, you are making progress, but we have to celebrate the wins along the way. Document it if you feel like that would help you see your progress, big and small. Be a witness to your own transformation because it’s fucking beautiful what you’re experiencing. And know…know so deeply in your heart, that all of this is teaching you so much. That, I have no questions about. That, I think, is present for every single one of us in our healing, that all of this is here to teach us something, to send us a message. And this is teaching you so, so much, and it is the catalyst to so much inner work that is super transformative and super, super fucking powerful. So, Allison, I love you. You got this. Let’s release the control and step into that joyful flowing place and state in your body. Thank you all for listening today.

My program RISE, which is a six-week just incredible journey that we’re going on; it includes group coaching calls every Tuesday evening. There will be recordings as well. You’ll have the opportunity to get one-on-one coaching from me in a group setting at a group rate versus a one-on-one rate. And one of the really cool things I’m doing in this program is creating workbooks to accompany the process, the experience that you’ll be going through as well as creating journal prompts for you that I have personally used in my own healing that have changed everything. This shit works. And even if you’re having doubts, I encourage you to trust that you never know when your next breakthrough is going to be and this could be it. And my experience with these specific journal prompts is that they really allowed me to think differently and to change my own mindset into be the catalyst to that breakthrough. So that’s just an accompanying piece to the entire program but one that I’m really excited about and I really think you’re going to get a lot out of. So if you’d like to join me, $100 off ends on Friday, that is May 17th. I’d love for you to join me. There’s still some spots available. I do anticipate this program will sell out and the price again, goes up, so why not jump in now.

Hey empath friends, if you’ve been enjoying these free coaching videos, then I invite you to join me in the Empowered Empath Facebook Community, where I am constantly jumping on and answering questions and going live to provide free coaching. It’s a ton of fun inside and I hope you’ll join us. Again, thanks so much for tuning into today’s episode, and I’ll see you next time.

Connect with Sarah:

Instagram | Facebook Community | Pinterest | YouTube | Third Eye Collective

Work with Sarah:

Online courses | 1:1 coaching | Send show requests to sarah@theuncensoredempath.com!

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July 29, 2019

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