Ep.197 5 Years in Biz as an Empath & HSP

Listen Here:

In this episode, I discuss:

  • The top 10 lessons Sarah has learned in 5 years of running her business
  • Intuitive intelligence and the power of finding your unique magic + mission
  • How to schedule flexibility + honor the seasons of your business
  • The importance of expansion and intentional nervous system support

Episode Transcript:

The Uncensored Empath is celebrating five years of business, baby. It has been quite a journey. We started out as a completely different brand and company and rebranded about two years into where we are today as the Uncensored Empath. I have launched dozens and dozens of courses offerings programs, and published almost two hundred podcast episodes, and worked with thousands of clients across the globe. It has truly been incredible and I’ve learned a lot, a lot. A lot. My business today is unrecognizable compared to what it started as. And so I want to take this opportunity to do some self-reflection and share with you some of the things that I have learned more specifically as an empath, an HSP, or a highly sensitive person. As somebody with a narrow divergent mind and sensory processing disorder. How I’ve been able to glean these lessons throughout the process and what they are, more specifically.

So I have ten little nuggets I want to share with you today. Feel free to take out your notebook. If you are an aspiring empath entrepreneur, current, or maybe you’re well seasoned, but still feel like there is room for improvement and for expansion to elevate yourself and to elevate your brand. These ten things have really stuck out to me as I was brainstorming what to share with you today, but also reflect on five years working for myself as somebody who feels things as big as somebody who is sensitive to external stimuli and has been able to put herself out there in front of big audiences and stages virtually, and in real life that have brought up different feelings and different energies because I am so sensitive to that which is in my external surrounding. Whether it’s a person or a place, or simply an energy and emotion or a physical sensation that I’m picking up on.

Intuitive intelligence and the power of finding your unique magic + mission

So the first thing, inarguably one of the most important things I want to share with you in this episode is intuitive intelligence. And what I mean by that is truly honoring who you are. What is your magic in your unique gift? Maybe multiple gifts. They are unique to you on this planet, and I encourage you to, if you haven’t already, uncover it,  unearth it and bring it to the surface, you can start there.

I’m hosting a class this week. It’s a psychic breathwork session community session where we’re going to be doing just that, peeling back the layers so you can understand what is so fucking beautiful about you, your intuition, and the unique channel that you have. When you open this channel, it is a portal to unique information that is meant to be delivered to be embodied, to be shared through you, your physical form, your voice, your energy, your heart.

So when we unlock our unique magic, that allows us in our business to stand out and to be a true embodiment of that mission, the mission that we are here to embark upon that we are committed to as entrepreneurs. When I first started five years ago, I was connected to my intuition. It was ultimately what allowed me and gave me the courage to leave my nine-to-five job and move into entrepreneurship. The intuition would not shut up, and so I finally said Okay, I’m going to answer yes to this call and I’m going to go for it. But what I had not discovered in the beginning of business, was how to utilize that intuition to figure out what was so magical and special about me as an individual, and instead I looked at what a lot of other people were doing. And I emulated what I thought was, or what I was seeing was successful for other spiritual entrepreneurs and empath entrepreneurs. Ultimately, that never lit my fire, that never stoked me. It never made me feel like this is it. This is what God put me on this planet to do. And that is the feeling that I want for you. I want you all to have that…

Is this is my thing, is this is my magic? This is my gift, and I’m so attuned to it, and in tune with myself that it gets to be the foundation of how I serve the world in entrepreneurship. So, if you have not already been guided or found your own way of uncovering your unique intuitive intelligence, that’s the first lesson I want to share with you. Once that information is on the table and you’ve fully received it your business. The trajectory of your business will change. It will change. It will take off in the way that you desire.

How to schedule flexibility + honor the seasons of your business

So let’s move into number two. Lesson number two is scheduling flexibility. So basically how you spend your time and how you spend your energy. When I first started five years ago, and even throughout each year, each month, it has continuously evolved and it’s then evolved again since I’ve entered motherhood because it’s had to. But what’s consistent is the flexibility. So I haven’t had clients on Mondays and Wednesdays for five years, and I haven’t said Okay, these are going to be my concentration days, or I’m going to create all this content in advance or anything like that. But instead, I’ve allowed myself to move through seasons and noticed where I want to be spending my time and energy, and what type of space I want to be filling my calendar.

So as I’ve entered the season of motherhood, it has looked like a lot fewer one-on-one clients in live calls. The one-on-one clients I do serve are more on a Voxer basis, because then when I’m out walking my daughter in this beautiful sunshine in Colorado, I can be talking to my clients while she’s in the stroller. It’s super accessible for me. It’s still high value for my clients. Knowing what time a day my daughter could be napping or not is super challenging right now. And so I have changed my schedule based on that.

Prior to motherhood, I was also playing with lots of different things, and adding in that ease and flexibility to my schedule. There were seasons of my business where I loved filling my calendar with one on one one hour calls and serving people on an individual level. And then I sort of dipped out of that season and was feeling super calllled into group work and being able to serve on a larger scale level. So I started filling my calendar in ways that felt supportive with groups here, groups there, talking about things, teaching on things that I loved, and leading people through life-changing experiences.

So it’s not that you need to schedule your life out, your workout, your life to work out in any certain way. My advice, the lesson that I learned in these past five years as somebody who is neurodivergent and an empath, and highly sensitive, is I need the space for flexibility to allow myself to move through seasons. We move through cycles. It has allowed me to move through cycles in a way that is intuitive and flowy. And it’s also within each week and within each day that I allow my intuition to guide me. As far as what I feel like doing day to day. There are certainly days when I need to do something that is not the most fun, like accounting and back stuff. For example, sometimes we make it fun, and other times it just needs to get done right. But for the most part, I’m allowing myself to move into what feels good throughout the day, because I have very intentionally created a flexible schedule.

You cannot and will not ever make everyone happy

Lesson number three is that you cannot and will not ever make everyone happy. You will not be the healer, coach, or mentor for everyone. Most of those people won’t ever even enter into your space, So it’s kind of a nonissue. Other people will enter into your space, and they’ll realize that maybe you aren’t for them, and then you might get some feedback. There might be some words, and this is where we really get to practice grounding our feet or roots into the earth, and standing firm in our integrity and who we are, so that we don’t mold and change or chameleon to other people’s expectations and desires of us.

In these thirty-plus containers that I have hosted and facilitated in the last five years, there have been raving, amazing testimonials and feedback. And then there has been the handful of people who I haven’t been able to make happy. One: my ego has had to find a resolution for that. Number two, I have had to very consciously not take feedback when something just simply wasn’t for somebody. I’ve had to not let that mold me. So what could happen is you receive feedback on something you did or way you did something, or the way you said something, or the way the program was structured to the length of a program, whatever it was. Based on that feedback, you change who you are because as the empath, we can mold ourselves very easily to other people’s energy.

We can start to fit into their box and it starts to feel really sticky, and crunchy in that box. If it’s based on everybody else’s expectations of you. Feedback is amazing. It can help you improve the experience that your Soulmate clients have within your spaces. So I always ask for feedback and testimonials, and I take some of the constructive criticism and I hear it. I listen to it. I feel it in my body, but the important piece here. The breakthrough here is don’t let that feedback or constructive criticism or haters or trolls get to you. Sometimes that happens too, they make you mold and change and shape shift into someone who you are not. You can’t make everybody happy. You are not put on this planet to be for every one.

So trust yourself, your gut instinct. Back up to number one, intuitive intelligence. I told you this can be one of the most important ones, because without that foundation that base of intuitive intelligence, and knowing the language, the texture, the flavor, the sound, the nuance of your intuition. Uniquely, it’s really hard to discern when all these things start to happen in business. You feel me.

Lesson number four is to hire mentors and a team as well. That makes your nervous system feel good. It’s not that a little trigger, a little kick in the ass here and there isn’t sometimes necessary and sometimes a good thing, because there have been coaches who have triggered me and invited me into new levels. Ego, death, shadow work all the things, and that has been beneficial.

But the people who have truly invited me into my power have been those who, when I’m in their energy, in their space, my nervous system is like.. Fuck. Yes, bring it on. Let’s do this. They see me not for my shadow, not for my borrowed or limiting beliefs, not based on my past stories or even past failures or successes. They see me, and they hold me to the highest standard, my highest potential, and my nervous system gets excited in the best way. When I’m held in these safe containers, I also feel like I have the space to express myself authentically.

I don’t have to hold anything back or put on any show or be someone who I’m not in order to impress a mentor. Or not seem too this or not seem too that, or they’re going to trigger me again. Instead, the word that’s coming through is just expansion. When I am in a space where my nervous system can calm the fuck down, especially as a highly sensitive person. I start to realize the expansion and the potential available to me if I just say yes, especially when mentors invite you to take big moves. Maybe it’s raising your prices. Maybe it’s launching the thing that you felt like. It’s in those moments that having a safe support system has actually allowed me to say yes. I’m going to do it and I’m not going to back down. Verses being held in an unsafe or triggering container where you’re like, And you want me to what? I don’t know if that actually feels supportive to me right now. Notice how you feel when you read people’s content when you listen to their live streams right here on this podcast. What is the language? The vocabulary, the energy of the words that you hear these people speak.

And what does it make you feel? And if there’s a sensation in your body of coming home to yourself when you’re in the energy of somebody else, hire them as a mentor. There is probably a lot of room for expansion when you say yes.

Stop comparing yourself

Number five is stop comparing yourself. This speaks back to intuitive intelligence because you have unique coding, a unique frequency. Every single human on this planet is vibrating at a slightly different level. My chakras, my DNA, my coding is different than yours. And so, if I try to be you, to be a clone of you, or to be a clone of whoever, if I mimic, if I copy, that’s not going to be felt the same way as if I own my uniqueness. And in the process of owning our uniqueness, we need to realize that that means we’re going to look different. We’re going to come off different, we’re going to structure our programs different. We are going to speak slightly different words, different language, and not the same words that everyone else is using. We are going to have different branding, we’re going to have different colors, we’re going to have different fonts. We are going to spice things up in a way that is unique to us and our magic.

When we can accept that our expression of our mission on this planet and the healing that you have to bring is going to be different, then there’s no reason why we would even start to compare ourselves. Because at the essence, you’re not going to be like anybody else. So when we do compare ourselves, there’s going to be this energy of like, oh, mine, doesn’t look like that. This blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That is not supportive to your nervous system, that is not supportive to your power. It’s an energy drain. And we want to seal up as many energetic drains as possible as an empath who tends to need extra time to recharge anyways. So release the need, the urge to compare yourself, and just because some strategy, some energetic way of being might’ve worked for somebody else, doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily what’s going to work for you, or is going to unlock your potential, your stacking of wealth, your growth.

Be a trendsetter

This leads me to number six, which is very similar, which is to be a trendsetter. And again, it loops back to number one, your unique, intuitive intelligence. So when we’re in the place of embodying that, we’ve released the urge to compare and we’re truly going for it, our own path, we’re going for it, that’s when you start to set the trends, not mimic or follow the trends. And this to me is the sign or one of the signs of true leadership. You are embodied in your truth, you are an expression that people can feel in their nervous system, in their energy body of that truth, and it’s going to catch their attention because it’s not going to look like everybody else’s. I was in our Voxer Group Chat for my coach training program, it’s called Illuminated. This is where I mentor, train, and help empath healers start to expand their businesses, their confidence, and really start to feel like they’re having the impact that they desire on the world through educating them in new modalities and owning the gifts that can’t even be put into words.

And as we were talking in this Voxer thread, we were talking about an offer that I have currently. And one of my students said, Sarah, I can feel the power of this offer, I can feel the power of this container. It was intuitive intelligence, actually. She’s like, how did you do that? How did you make me feel this? And I told this analogy, this story metaphor of driving to the grocery store. You’ve done it hundreds if not, maybe thousands of times. You’ve driven down the road to your grocery store, if you go to the same grocery store, and there are signs on the way there likely. So there are signs of businesses. You pass the gas station, you pass the pizza shop, you pass the pet store, you pass all the things. Now, the first time you drove you might’ve had a little bit of an awareness of all these new things coming into your field, but then as you’ve made that drive over and over again, the subconscious takes over and it’s no longer important information. Therefore, the subconscious pushes it to the edges and it’s focused on just what is important on your drive to the grocery store, which is staying safe, making sure you make the right turns, seeing the green light, the red light, the yellow light, eventually making the turn into the grocery store parking lot.

Now, if a pizza parlor goes out of business and now there is a new sign that pops up on your way to the grocery store, it’s likely that you are going to or it’s going to grab your attention because the subconscious is not familiar with that, therefore, it can’t just push it to the side, it needs to gather that new information and take it in to feel it, to sense it, to make sense of it, and then decide what to do with it. So we can think about this in a similar way about being trendsetting. If you are the same energy as every other sign on the street and you show up in the exact same way for five years let’s say, like I’ve been doing, and showing up in this business, but if I were to do it the same way for all five years, then eventually people subconscious mind just pushes that information to the side. They’ve seen it, they’ve felt it, they’ve experienced it. There’s nothing that’s going to capture the attention again. And so, what trendsetters do is you don’t have to break down, let everything crumble to the ground, and rebuild your business, but be in a constant evolution. Change your sign. Change the sign, change the color of the sign, change the energy of the sign, change the name of the sign, change the flavor of your pizza as the new toppings, right?

We even see large corporations and businesses do this where they’re evolving. They might not change their actual logo and brand or name over time because it doesn’t need to change, but they’re coming out with new lines of shoes, like Adidas, there are pizza places coming up with a seasonal topping for their pizza. So be the trendsetter. In that, is this code, this breakthrough, which is to be in a constant evolution. When you’re just trusting that you’re always going to be changing, your nervous system can actually calibrate to change is naturally something that can trigger us. It’s inevitable; change, but the actual act of changing can be uncomfortable, therefore, triggering to the nervous system. If we embrace evolution, we can start to release how triggering and uncomfortable change is, and instead, get excited about change. Who am I going to be next year? Oh my gosh, I’m not even going to be the same person next month. So let my business, my Instagram posts, the stories I tell, the offerings I channel and download and create be an expression of my constant evolution. I am not settling. I’m a leader, I’m a trendsetter, and I allow the messages that are unique to me to inspire that constant growth and that constant evolution.

The other reason this is important for the empath is that if you’re showing up in this same energy over time, over time, over time, over time, again, and again, and again, and again, there’s certainly a level of mastery that can come with that, that I honor, and I respect, but there’s also this feeling of boredom where you are such a deep feeler, that that thing that initially had a deep feeling or a deep reaction in your gut, in your belly, no longer provokes that. And so, you’re not as excited about it anymore because you’re like, ‘meh’, ‘meh’. It just doesn’t evoke the deep feelings. And we’re drawn to…we are drawn to naturally, deeply, immersive, big feelings. So let your business be an expression of the deep feelings you have as an empath. It’s a gift, absolutely.

Protect your well-being

Okay, number seven: protect your well-being, which means your nervous system, which means your energy, which means your health, your physical body, all of the above. This is especially speaking to the highly sensitive folks. So if we are in, whether it’s a cluttered office, and our energy just feels cluttered because of that, or we’re eating tons of sugar so our energy is low, we don’t feel good, we have headaches, whether it is reaching for caffeine because we’re not getting enough sleep; sleep, hydration, rest, cleansing rituals on a regular basis, these are all critical to your well-being and your well-being is critical to the well-being of your business. So protect that well-being.

The actual routine ritual sanctuary that you’re going to create is going to be unique to you. For me, it’s been things like regular salt baths. It’s changed drastically pre-baby. And now with baby Emme J., my self-care looks different, but it’s still a priority. It just looks different. Before I used to take five salt baths a week. That doesn’t happen so much anymore, but I at least get one. And it is so crucial to discharging everyone else’s shit and energy from my being that it’s a non-negotiable. Within this is also establishing and upholding boundaries; boundaries with family members, boundaries with the clients so that you are not this constant leaky energy, this leaky bucket. You’ve got to take care of you.

I have, in the last five years, definitely had moments, more than one, where I have not protected my well-being, and so, I’ve started to go down into burnout. And that has not served my business and has absolutely not served me. So protect the well-being, the nervous system, the energy, your physical body. Eat nutrient-dense food, drink lots of water, drink your electrolytes, stay hydrated. Hydration is also really good for your nervous system so do it. It’s honestly one of the things that’s most challenging for me. I am not somebody who carries a water bottle around or is constantly thinking about taking a sip of water so I’ve had to really figure out a plan for me to stay hydrated in a way that feels accessible. And then when I started breastfeeding, it was like this whole new thing where I realized how much more water and hydration I needed that I was getting in order to maintain breastfeeding relationship.

So as a new mom, I’m not sleeping as much. And I don’t have ultimate control over that because I’m waking up based on my daughter’s needs and when she needs me, speaking to all the mompreneurs out there now. And so, protecting my well-being has looked different. I might not be able to sleep a full, definitely not a full eight hours, not even a full four hours at night, but what I can do is make sure I stay hydrated, make sure that I am eating meals, full meals throughout the day, maintaining boundaries with clients, family members, the world, making sure I’m getting that one salt bath per week at least to discharge energy, making sure that when I feel like I am about to burn out or I’m just feeling tapped out or touched out as a mom, that I take space for myself as much as possible. Usually, that’s just in a dark room with quiet. So you get to decide and to develop a plan that works for you as far as protecting your well-being.

Do the inner work

Number eight: do the inner work. Just do it. It is yes, the unsexy work. It is what we do inside of the Empath Leaders Membership on an ongoing basis so that you don’t even have to schedule it into your calendar. It’s already there because we are holding space for all of the unsexy work. The form in which that takes can be meditation. It could be journaling, it can be shadow work, it can be breathwork, it could be yoga, it can be embodiment practices, it can be neuro-linguistic programming, it can be dissecting limiting beliefs, it can be many, many, many; hypnosis, different things. The important pieces, the lesson I’ve learned is that that is key to the development, to the scaling the growth of your business. If we don’t do the inner work, then we’re going to continue and arguably, we’re never perfectly healed, right? But you will reduce the amount of roadblocks, triggers, moments when you feel like you need to retreat because of the triggers, because of the challenge, because of the stress, whatever, if you are doing the inner work alongside the growth of your business.

You do not have to be perfectly healed in order to start the business, but I do encourage you to do the inner work alongside the business, because I’ve said this a million times and I’ll say it again, your business is its own spiritual awakening. It is the most intense, personal development path that I’ve ever taken. So stuff is going to come up. With every launch, every offering that you create, stuff is going to come up. You are going to change every offer you put out there. It’s an accelerated path to your ascension. And when we do the inner work alongside of these launches, the branding, the putting yourself out there, the opening your throat chakra, then we can integrate anything that does come up because stuff still comes up for me and my business.

As it comes up, we can integrate. As it comes up, integrate, as it comes up, integrate so that you are minimizing if not eliminating the plateaus you hit in your life and in your business, and instead, you’re just allowing yourself to elevate…elevate…elevate…elevate at a pace, at a rhythm that feels good for you instead of rollercoaster, yo-yo, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. Because when we hit the up, what happens is then something happens, we haven’t done the inner work around it, and then we dip back down. Okay, I worked through that, now next thing you’re feeling up, up, up, up, again something happens, dip way back down. Those dips are inevitably going to happen, but they don’t have to be these giant dips and instead, overall, you’re going to feel this elevation, elevation, elevation, elevation when you’re doing the work alongside of the business growth and development.

Leave space

Number nine: leave space. I want to say leave space for dreaming, but really it is just leave space. When we give ourselves silence, quiet, peace, our imagination is unlocked, our channel is pure. We can receive the messages when it’s quiet. When I get the opportunity to meditate these days, sometimes it’s while I’m putting my daughter to sleep, other times it’s a whole thing I get to do by myself. Oftentimes it’s with baby girl on my chest or on my lap, in my arms, but it’s quiet. And in that quiet, I invite in creativity and imagination and dream state. This is where the new ideas come up, this is where I get to be the trendsetter, this is where I get to evoke my intuitive intelligence, this is where I get to see the big vision of why I’m doing this work in the first place. So leave space; quiet space, uninterrupted space.

Space could also take on the meaning of just not having anything planned or scheduled and letting yourself go with the flow, listen to your cyclical nature and your rhythms, especially as women, listening to our moon cycle and allowing that to guide what we want to do in any given space that we create for ourselves. And again, new mama over here; the amount of space I have now compared to the amount of space I had before is drastically different, but there’s still moments of silence, there’s still space for me to tune in. And really what’s happened, if you want to know behind the scenes, what’s happened is because there’s less space but still space, I’ve been able to use the space that I do have exponentially more efficiently. I’ve collapsed time in those spaces I have. It feels like a whole new skill that I’ve developed. So shout out to all the mamas out there.

So number nine was leaving space to feel. That’s the other thing; it’s not only for receiving, it’s also for digesting and integrating energy. Because if we don’t have space and we’re just going to do, do, do, do, we’re like, why aren’t we seeing results? Because you’re in the constant do, do, do. This is something I teach inside of Illuminated coach training program is the creation cycle or intuitive process and it’s ‘be, do, have‘. And many people get stuck in, be, do, be, do, be, do, be, do and they’re like this broken record and they’re exhausted, they’re on the edge of burnout, and they’re wondering why they’re not actually receiving the results they desire because they’re not getting to the ‘have‘. And the space is between the ‘have‘ and the ‘be‘. It’s in that integration period of like… It’s the period at the end of a sentence. It’s the exhale for your nervous system, ‘ah-h-h’. So as a highly sensitive, neurodivergent empath, that exhale is extremely important to you being able to digest energy in a way that then refuels you and allows you to keep going in a sustainable way.

Last lesson. Five years of business, wow. Your energy is sacred. Because your energy is sacred, we have to take care of it, we have to love it, and it is also your best marketing tool. I shared a short story a little bit ago about how a student messaged me after I shared Intuitive Intelligence the other day, the offering. I shared the graphics. I explained just a little, it was sort of seductive, just a little bit of what’s going to be included in this psychic breathwork class, and she felt it. She felt the potency, the energy in just that little bit, that little tease, that little flirtation of the space that I’m inviting people into. In that energetic exchange, the energy she felt from me, it’s hard to put into words because it’s a feeling. It’s not something that’s verbal, it’s not auditory. It’s sentient; clairsentient beings we are as empaths.

Our community is likely filled with empaths as well and so when we make people feel something with our energy, we invite them to activate their free will and to take action based on the feeling that they get. So your energetic container, your energy body, your aura is sacred. And when it’s turned on in a potent, magnetic, authentic way that is in integrity, people will feel that and sales will become fun, sexy, flirtatious, like telling the best, most fun, easy story you’ve ever told. When our energy is off, and I’m not talking about being tired because your girl is tired, that doesn’t change the potency of my offers. I mean your energy is off like it’s out of alignment, like it’s edging on out of integrity, like it is trying to be a mimic, a copy of somebody else, like it’s in constant comparison, some of the things we talked about earlier, and it’s not owning your intuitive intelligence and your uniqueness and your gifts.

And so, when we drop into our energy and how we experience it internally, we can take inventory of what needs to be tweaked and modified in order for us to have the experience, the exchange of energy with our community that is whoa, she’s powerful, potent. I feel her. She moves me in a way that I want to take action or I’m having breakthroughs, ahas, lightbulb moments. And when those start rippling in, trickle, trickle, trickle, snowball, snowball, snowball, you start to see the immense impact that just your energy can have on the world and it is so beautiful. And I believe that as empaths, neurodivergent individuals, HSPs, highly intuitives, that we were put on this planet to do that; to move people, to help people feel things, to listen to people with our whole bodies, and to be able to open our channel to that unique and individual, intuitive intelligence in such a way that brings people home to themselves. But we have to come home to our own energy first.

So there’s your invitation, there’s the call. It’s up to you if you want to take on the assignment. I hope that this reflection of 10 lessons I’ve learned in the last five years of The Uncensored Empath LLC, but more specifically as an entrepreneur who is empath, HSP, SPD, neurodivergent has been helpful to those of you who are also navigating this journey. And I hope in five years, I’ll be doing 10 years of business and 10, maybe 20 more lessons that I’ve learned because it’s a continuous evolution, it’s a continuous growth process, and it’s the greatest one I’ve ever been on. And I am committed to continuously saying yes to the growth, yes to the challenge, yes to the opportunities to elevate into my mission and the legacy that I ultimately want to leave on this planet.

So breathe into it, see what sinks into your body, what resonates in yourselves, and I’d love to hear what you take away from these tips, these lessons today. You can find me over on Instagram @theuncensoredempath and I would love, love, love to hear from you. I love you all. Thank you for your support, for your encouragement, and for your commitment to tuning into the show. I’ll see you next time.

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November 5, 2021


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