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In this episode, I discuss:

• Healing limiting beliefs
• How limiting beliefs affect your health and your physical body
• My eight-step process to help uncover the belief and then to heal the belief

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Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Healing Uncensored Podcast. My name is Sarah Small, and I’m a health and mindset coach for women with autoimmune disease just like you. I absolutely love helping you tap into your self-healing power, uncover the energetic side of healing, and release limiting beliefs around your body and your life. Think of this podcast as everything you wouldn’t hear at your doctor’s office. It’s a place for empowered souls to move beyond food and heal themselves on a soul level. I hope you enjoy today’s episode. Now let’s begin.

Healing limiting beliefs

Hello and welcome. OMG, my friends. Last night I posted in my Facebook group and on my Instagram story, what are your limiting beliefs? I want to help you work through them and be able to heal, process, release some of these things that are really holding you back in your healing journey. And the response was incredible. Oh my gosh. There are so many of you who are already aware of what those limiting beliefs are and potentially how they’re affecting you. But I think what’s happening is you’re just kind of stuck in this, Okay, I feel this way, but now what the hell do I do to actually rewire that belief, change that belief, et cetera? And this is honestly one of the most powerful things that I’ve done in my own personal healing. I can’t wait to share this with you guys today.

So originally I worked with an energy healer back in Michigan several, several years ago, and she helped identify intuitively, the limiting beliefs that I was holding onto. And then she helped me release them energetically. So since then, I have learned and developed and honed in on my own-way-method to release these beliefs that are no longer serving me, as well as how to pick the limiting beliefs out of some of the stories and most common thoughts that are recurring in our mind. And I am so excited to teach this to you.

So first, what are some of your limiting beliefs? I know a lot of you, again, answered. I’m going to go through some of these today. And if you do not already know what your limiting beliefs are, I want to give you some examples. And I’ll also be starting really with that part of this process even if you don’t know what your limiting beliefs are or how they’re affecting your life. So first let me know if you resonate with any of these examples of limiting beliefs. The first is:

• I lack motivation.
• I’m not worthy of love.
• I don’t have time.
• I don’t have enough resources.
• It’s too late for me to change.
• I’m hopeless.
• I am responsible for everyone.
• I have no clue where to start.
• The world is not a safe place.
• I have to be perfect.
• I don’t deserve health.

How limiting beliefs affect your health and your physical body

So how do these limiting beliefs affect your health, your physical body? Well, science shows that we are more likely to heal if we believe we can heal. We are more likely to heal if we believe we can heal. I have a little bit of an issue with calling something a chronic illness because chronic implies forever when the truth and reality is that many people experience remission, sometimes remission over a period of time, sometimes spontaneous remission. This is not uncommon. And the more that we believe that we can heal, the more likely we are to actually feel better. So this is crazy, I want to share this with you. Depending on how a doctor shares the news of your illness, let’s take an example of cancer, and how they share this news with you, and how they describe your likelihood of getting better, that is a huge factor in whether you will actually heal or even survive.

There’s a big difference between telling someone that they have a 1 in 100 chance of going into remission or even living past six months or a year and instead, having a practitioner who says, you know what? I have good news and bad news, and I’m so sorry you have cancer. But the good news is that some people do heal from this. And I’m here for you, I’m supporting you, and please, let me know what questions you have; taking moments to pause, to be empathetic, and to really explain that there is potential and possibility in healing. Not that you’re going to die in six months. And this goes the same with pharmaceutical trials for drug companies. One group gets the, let’s say heart medication and the other group gets a sugar pill. We’re all pretty aware of this, right? There are these trials where they test the effectiveness of these different prescription drugs.

So everyone, both the real heart medication that they are testing and the sugar pill, everybody who gets the placebo versus the real medication, is told that side effects include nausea, vomiting, and upset stomach. And this is what happens; everyone on both sides of the trial, heart medication or sugar pill, end up with the same symptoms. This is called the nocebo effect. And it’s when you are told that you are going to feel like crap so you feel like crap, even though there’s no physical cause. So think about this in respect to your beliefs. If you believe I am not worthy of love, what are you going to attract into your life? Likely, relationships and partners that do not treat you well. If you believe, I do not have time, then girl, you’re not going to create the time. If you believe, I don’t deserve to be healthy, then likely you’re not going to start to feel better until you feel like you are worth a healthy, abundant life and body.

The brain is a powerful, powerful thing. And your beliefs impact your biochemistry. Your beliefs impact your biochemistry. This is why I preach this so hard. That’s why I have a podcast called Healing Uncensored because this is the uncensored truth. The uncensored truth is that this part of healing, the emotional, the beliefs, the spiritual, the energetic is far too often left out of the conversation, yet all of those things impact you on a physiological level. So to leave this part out of your healing is a huge miss, a huge miss by our healthcare system. It is so, so, so important that you look at what beliefs are helping you heal and which beliefs are really holding you back. The brain is so powerful.

I like to use the example, if you are, let’s say taking milk thistle and you’re drinking dandelion root tea, and these are things that are known to help support your liver function holistically, and so, you’re doing all of the things to support your liver function, but you’re still fucking pissed off most of your day, you’re holding a lot of anger and a lot of resentment, then likely your liver will not function the way that you’re trying to get it to. Why? Because there’s an emotional component to your physiological processes. The liver is often explained as the organ that holds onto anger. So if you’re pissed and you are having the worst time trying to forgive your ex-husband or your old college roommate, then it’s going to be very hard for your body to process and detox the toxins and processed foods we might be putting into our body, even with the support of milk thistle and dandelion routine, when it’s also so overloaded by just trying to process your anger.

So I just want to bring attention to the importance of this and why this is a topic I think also many of you resonate with. And your responses to this online were really incredible. I have a huge list of limiting beliefs in front of me that you all sent me and I’m going to go through two examples today. First, one of mine, so I can speak from personal experience, and then one of yours as well. And I think I’m going to have to record another episode, just addressing some of the other ones through some coaching tools, or maybe even some more step-by-step process like today. So let me know if you’d like me to do more of these after listening today if this is something that’s really helpful for you. Even when it’s not necessarily your limiting belief, it’s still going to show you the process you can go through on your own. And I think many of you are also going to see yourself in these beliefs as well.

My eight-step process to help uncover the belief and then to heal the belief

So Step One: What is your story? When you just step back and you go, Okay, here’s a day in the life of Sarah. What emotions are ruling your life? What things define you in your life right now? And what do you find yourself thinking about a lot? Okay. So you can go back and you can think of the major events you’ve experienced in your life. You can think about what the emotions are currently that are most recurring and constant. What’s defining you today in the life of Sarah or insert your name? And what are the thoughts? What are the things that constantly are running through your head? And if you’re not currently conscious and aware of this, that’s okay. Hopefully, after listening to this episode, you’ll start to notice some of the patterns more. So really we’re looking at some of those patterns that are in your life as well, potentially patterns that are holding you back.

So for example, this is a real example of one that I’ve worked through. I’ve already worked through it, but I still want to use it as an example. So what used to consume me was taking care of my family. And this has nothing to do with my family, but it was how I interpreted my role. And I thought, I have to be there, I must be there for everyone all of the time. I really, really thought that was my purpose and I had to, whether I wanted to or not. That supporting and taking care of my family, being there for them as a ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, someone to drive you, like everything, was what I had to do. And so, that was really consuming. It caused me a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety and a lot, a lot of worry. So that’s part of my story. Okay.

Step Two: Where’s the limiting belief in that story? The limiting belief, one that is not supporting your growth is, in this example, I am responsible for everyone, especially the family. But the belief overall, I am responsible for everyone. So what I want you to do is I want you to look back up into that. Just purge onto the page your story, emotions, recurring thoughts, patterns. What are you thinking about? And see if you can pull out any of the limiting beliefs or things that are not serving you, but are strong beliefs that keep showing up over and over again. So you’re going to pick out the limiting belief there and then move on to:

Step Three: And this question requires us to just dig and dive a little bit deeper. That’s what this is all about; going deep. When did you first develop this belief? So when I think back and I look on the experience of being the oldest of four children growing up with divorced parents, and I look back and I just think of the story that, at least in my mind, is the story of my childhood, because I know that the story you’d get from my mom or my dad or my sister or my brother would be different, but I interpreted things in my own way. And when I look back and I think of the story of my childhood, I think that I took on this belief that I was responsible for everyone right when my parents got divorced, so around age 12. And this made sense to me at the time, because again, the story, what I was seeing, and the way that I was interpreting it, that made sense.

Dad needs me to do this. Mom needs me to do this. They don’t have each other. They’re not talking to each other anymore. Therefore, I must do that. I must be the messenger, I must drive my siblings places, I must make sure that my siblings are safe and supported because I’m the constant between mom’s house and dad’s house. They’re not at both places, but here Sarah is. So I’m the constant, I’m the foundation. This is the belief I developed; I’m responsible for everyone. And I think it was around age 12. So I can really root it back to, not necessarily like a snap-your-fingers moment, but at a time period of my life. And this might require you to really think back.

Then, Step Four: How has this belief kept you safe? For example, the belief I am responsible for everyone has kept me safe or had kept me safe because it made me feel like I had control and I can keep my family safe. By being responsible for everybody I could control them. I could control their safety, their happiness, their feeling that they were loved. And I could keep them kind of like Mama Bird, underneath my wing so that they didn’t have to feel pain. Because I loved them and still love them more than anything. So it made me feel safe because they were staying safe and I had control over that.

So this is a very challenging reflection for us to go on this journey of how has it actually kept you safe? Because I know for some of you, you’re going to look at this belief and go, there’s no way this has kept me safe at all. It has not supported me in any way. But that’s where you have to go deeper, that’s where you really have to peel back the layers. Because your subconscious mind did not just throw this belief in there for no reason. There’s a possibility that you maybe inherited this belief from your parents or in the womb, but likely something has showed you in your life that there was a reason that was beneficial for you to have this belief. That is called confronting your shadow. Okay. So how has it kept you safe?

Moving on to Step Five: What have the consequences been then? Well, this belief that I’m responsible for everyone has affected my health on a physical level and emotional level. I have lost sleep over it. Worrying has spiraled me into anxiety and panic attacks. I have constantly put others first. It has caused a lot of stress and breakouts on my skin. My feelings have been hurt. I realized that I was grasping onto control and I didn’t actually have any. That was fear-inducing. So the consequences have not been great. So I want you to think about this. What have the consequences been of this belief? This is likely going to be easier. So this limiting belief, how has it affected you in a negative way? How is it currently affecting you in a negative way? Is it holding you back in some ways? Is it keeping you sick in some way?

Step Six: Is this belief true? If no, then we want to see some proof or evidence that it is not true. Okay. So is this belief that I’m responsible for everyone true? No. Partially, disproven by universal law, that you are only responsible for yourself, that I cannot control anyone else’s actions but my own, there’s evidence of that. I can ask my fiancé to take out the trash but I can’t control him and force him to do it. I could ask my mom to reach out to my dad so I didn’t have to, but I can’t make her. I can’t control anyone else’s actions but my own, therefore, I am only responsible for my own actions. Once we start to disprove this belief, our subconscious can now see, Oh, maybe that’s not true. Maybe I’m not responsible for everyone. And maybe if I focus more on myself, I would see more of the results that I was looking for through this limiting belief.

Step Seven: What would your BFF or partner say? What would they say if you said, Hey girl, I feel responsible for everyone in my life and it’s just so heavy and it’s so hard? And I just, I don’t know, I’m sick and tired of feeling responsible for everybody. What would she say to you? I think my BFF would say, Sarah, you are a great sister and a great daughter, and you are already doing enough. And you will still be a great sister and a great daughter even if you don’t fix everyone else’s problems, and some of those things, let them figure it out on their own. You need to take care of yourself and then you can actually support them better. So put you first. What would that loving voice, it can be even your own internal, loving voice, what would that voice say to you?

Most of the time when we get to this part of our healing, we realize, and you guys can go do this, you can ask your BFF or your partner, Hey, I have this belief, what do you say about it? Right? And likely they are going to give you support and help you back with Step Number Six. Show you that it’s not true. Show you the evidence that it’s not true, or just be a sounding board for you to feel understood and validated for that feeling that, yes, I get why you feel that way, but you don’t have to feel that way. This belief is a choice.

Last Step: When we remove a belief and we disprove it and we see the ways that it’s hurt us negatively, but also why we’ve held onto it because it has kept us safe or benefited us in some way, what we do is we release energy. But what we can do is energy, we know from middle school science, right? Physics class; energy can be created but not destroyed. So we’re releasing this energy. Therefore, it can be recycled and we can install it back as a positive belief or thought process. So I want you to think about in Step Eight, what is that new thought process or belief that you’d like to recycle and bring back into your life? One that will support your healing. An example of one that I could install here, and I did install when I went through this healing is, I’m only responsible for me.

When I take care of myself, I can show up bigger and better for others. I am not responsible for fixing anyone else’s problems. Now that doesn’t mean I can’t help people. It doesn’t mean I can’t try to help people out and fix their problems. But what I realize is that I don’t have control over that. Ultimately, I’m just responsible for me, the thoughts that go through my mind, the way I show up in the world, the way I treat people in the world. And if I can control that, which is the only thing we even have control over, then my subconscious is going to be a lot happier and a lot less stressed than having to show up for everybody, everywhere, all the time, in all of the ways. Okay. So that’s a new belief. There are many you can choose from and you can list more than one if you’d like to. So they’re going to be that recycled energy that we ask and we invite back into our energy body.

Now let’s go onto one of your examples. So we kind of brush over Step One in this case, because you’re already saying what the limiting belief is. So again, just to recap though, we want to figure out what the story is so we can pull out the limiting belief.

Step Two is what is that limiting belief? That’s what you guys told me in the polls that I sent out. So this is from Ashley and she says, Currently I have a huge limiting belief around success and failure. I am afraid of being successful and, or a failure so I just don’t try/make excuses as to why I cannot do it. Did any of you resonate with this? I’m thinking probably a lot of you do. So we’ve finished Step Two as well. We’ve identified part of this limiting belief.

Three: When did you first develop this belief? Now, I don’t know for sure. I don’t have Ashley on the line here today, but we’re going to hypothesize and build a framework for her to release this belief and any of you out there who also resonate with this. Maybe Ashley was really pushed to achieve by her parents when she was younger. Maybe you still today too. And they are constantly telling her to do well. And she took this on, this interaction with her parents, them constantly telling her to do well, expecting her to do well, pushing her, as a need to be perfect in order to be loved. And let’s just say that this was first programmed in her mind at age eight. Okay. So again, she’s got this limiting belief around success and failure. We’re just hypothesizing. Maybe she was really pushed to achieve. She was constantly being told certain things that made her feel like, Okay, I need to be perfect. I can’t fail or I might lose their love. I got to be perfect in order to be loved. Potentially this was developed and programmed into her mind at a pretty young age. We’re just going to go with eight today.

Step Four: How has this kept her safe? Well, she’s afraid of success and failure. And that means that she gets to hide a bit, right? To play small. The most successful people in the world had to take on some really big risks to get where they are. And with risk comes the potential of failure. But if you don’t really put yourself out there, then you can’t really fail or have a big win. So how has this kept her safe? Well, she might still be operating from her eight-year-old self who thinks that her parents will love her only if she doesn’t fail or if she’s perfect. And not putting herself out there has kept her ego safe and the love of her parents has then, in her mind, been stable.

Step Five: What have the consequences been of this? Well, she’s probably played small, avoided taking risks, and as she said, she makes excuses and likely just doesn’t try something. But those things that she’s not trying, those could have huge reward or benefit, but there’s just too much fear. And this fear has potentially become paralyzing for her. So the consequence is, playing small, not taking risks, living from a place of fear, and that fear has potentially then cascaded into paralysis.

Step Six: Is this belief true? If not, we got to disprove it. So does she need to be perfect or not fail to be loved? Not just by her parents, but by anybody. Let’s just broaden this out. Does she need to be perfect? Do any of us need to be perfect to be loved? No. Let me give you some real-life evidence of me and my imperfection and still being loved. I have been $25,000 in debt, quit my job and started this business, and still been loved. I’ve had horrible, embarrassing acne, and I’ve still been loved. I’ve failed a college class and thought I was the biggest failure in the world, and my mom still loved me. I’ve lost a ton of soccer games and card games and all the games, and I’ve still been loved. I’ve taken a wrong turn on the highway and I’ve still been loved after that mistake. And I quit my seemingly stable job and I’ve still been loved and still been supported. So you have to look for the evidence. If you can’t find the evidence, ask for help. Let’s help you find evidence that this belief is not true. That can be external evidence of other people, that could also be looking deeper, being the detective within your own life for the evidence that it’s not actually true.

What would Ashley’s BFF say? Well, I’m going to be her BFF today and I’m going to say, Do the damn thing, sister. Stop playing small. You are so worthy and capable and you have so much light to shine on this world, that you are doing the world and yourself a disservice by holding yourself back. You got this. And I am over here on the sidelines, cheering you on, Go, girl.

Step Eight: What new thought or belief might she install? Here are some examples that she could choose from:

• I am loved. I am so loved. And I am worthy of love regardless of my achievements.
• Success does not have to be scary. In fact, I am wildly successful and free, and fearless.
• I am going big and I am done playing small.

Okay, my friends, I hope this has been massively helpful and supportive for you. That is all for today. But again, thank you to so many of you who submitted your limiting beliefs. And please let me know if you’d like me to do more of these in the future. Whether we walk through the eight-step process with some broader examples or, again, there are so many of them, I’m thinking I’m just going to do an episode on coaching you through some of them as well. And if you want to work through these beliefs with my support and the support of 40 other women, come join us for 21 Days of Healing. The cart has been open for about a week now and there’s about another week until the cart closes. This is my most-loved signature program that includes 21 days of video lessons to build your emotional healing toolbox and breakthrough your limiting beliefs as well as any healing plateaus that you might be experiencing.

And I know, I know, I know it’s hard for some of you who are so set on the physical side of healing to justify spending money on the emotional side. And maybe you think, this is a limiting belief in itself, that you should be able to heal your own emotions. But here’s what I know to be true, my friends. We don’t know what we don’t already know. And it’s really hard to detach from our beliefs and see how they’re impacting our life when we’re so intimately connected to them, and they’re so hard wired into our brain. And that’s where I come in to support and help you. I’m just teaching you the strategies and processes through these 21 days together. You’re still the one doing the healing and showing up. So I love you and I invite you to join us on this 21-day journey. The link is in the show notes. And until next time, keep working through these limiting beliefs. You got it. I believe in you. I am here to support you. And I will see you next time.

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