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In this episode, we discuss:

• MANIFESTATION.
• SPIRITUAL PATH.
• CAREER CHANGE.
• SEX.
• MONEY.

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COURSE: Intuitive Soul School (Digital)

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Episode Transcript:

Tori:                   To me, it’s like we’re all using the law of attraction, but we’re using it in an unconscious cycle again where it’s like get what you want, fuck it up, get what you want, fuck it up, get what you want. It’s still the law of attraction at play, but what I really want to teach women is how to use these laws consciously from a place of alignment and relaxation and flow.

Sarah:                Welcome to the Healing Uncensored podcast. My name is Sarah Small, and I’m a health and mindset coach for women with autoimmune disease just like you. I absolutely love helping you tap into your self-healing power, uncover the energetic side of healing and release limiting beliefs around your body and your life. Think of this podcast is everything you wouldn’t hear at your doctor’s office. It’s a place for empowered souls to move beyond food and heal themselves on a soul level. I hope you enjoy today’s episode. Now let’s begin.

Hello. I’ve got my girl Tori back on the show today. If you missed our first conversation, go back to Episode 7 and give it a listen. Tori is a spiritual mentor and intuitive. She’s also just a magical human being that I love to talk to and be within her energy. You’ll see what I mean once you listen to today’s episode. So let’s get started. Let’s just go right into the heavy stuff. Okay. Ready?

Tori:                   Yeah.

Sarah:                Let’s get started. We’re already recording. So welcome back, Tori. Welcome to the show.

Tori:                   Thank you so much for having me. I’m honored to be the first repeat. I have loved watching the show grow, like Holy Shit.

Sarah:                Yeah, it’s been fun. It’s been a journey. And honestly though, one of the things that I’ve loved most about this podcast and being able to have these conversations is I feel like I had like 20 new friends all over the world. I’m like, oh my gosh, she’s my friend now or he’s my friend now, and it’s been able to bring me closer to people within this greater chronic illness and just spiritual community cause a lot of what we talk about is more on a spiritual level and just been able to connect with amazing human beings and you are an amazing human being so I’m glad to have you back.

Tori:                   Thank you.

Sarah:                What have you been up to lately? Let’s just kind of catch up on your life. What’s happening in your business lately?

Tori:                   So my business has completely changed as per usual. It’s still the same foundation of spirituality, sisterhood and self-love. Getting really honest with myself about what I enjoy talking about, I think for the longest time I was, I was waiting for my clients to tell me what the next step was, and I think in the beginning of your business, that totally works. In the beginning of anything, it helps to just stay open, but eventually you have to take responsibility for where you’re spending your time and how you’re showing up. I was just telling you a moment ago, I’ve noticed the most growth through starting this business cause there’s nowhere to hide my bullshit at all. It’s given me this gift of taking a microscope to where I find joy because before this summer, I was associating my business with survival. It has to work. If it doesn’t work, all hell’s going to break loose and a lot of people asked that question, like where do I feel the most joy? And to be honest, I didn’t have an answer and that scared me. So I’ve wiped everything out, everything that I thought to be true with my business, I was like, okay I’m just going to start over, start fresh, and the thing that brings me the most joy is teaching people how to have a practical conversation with the universe. That’s it. And so when I found the 12 laws of the universe, that was to me just pure gold. It was like I found the blueprint to life and I was like, this is exactly what I want to talk about. It’s all I want to talk about. I’m absolutely obsessed with this. I’ll start here.

So I created the 12:12 Experience, which is teaching women – and a couple men that signed up – the 12 laws over the span of 12 days and it was explosive and so easy and so joyful, and I loved every second of it. And so right now my business, that’s what I’m doing. I’m having fun. I’m making imperfect actions happen. I’m just showing up with my whole self and not hiding anymore. I think for a while I was hiding behind the business and this whole spiritual community. As you know, you can just get really wrapped up in what this person’s doing. What’s the next moon ceremony I should be doing? How much can I detox? And I just had to stop all of that in my personal life and my business, and just show up with joy and truth and then see what happens. And it’s been a gift for sure.

Sarah:                I love that. I mean, you’re tapped into your intuition and you’re making these intuitive decisions in life and in your business now, where you are connected to the universe and so you’re just letting that be part of your guide, those little pushes, the nudge that lovingly nudge forward in whatever direction it tells you to go. I think for some people though, it’s hard for them to wrap their mind around like what does it mean to make an intuitive decision? What does that look like? How does it feel in your body? How do you just do things out of joy and not worry about all this, like the finances and everything? Cause I know we’ve both had that where it’s like, oh my gosh, this business has to make money or I’m not going to be able to have a place to live. I’m not going to be able to eat. So where do we start with making those intuitive decisions?

Tori:                   The thing I realized is that the clarity that we’re all seeking doesn’t actually come from thinking and planning and all this stuff. It comes from action. So, to find that clarity that we’re all reaching for, we have to take the first step. And I think your mentor said it, Angie Lee, you’ll get the second step when you take the first one. And it sounds like common sense when you read the quote. But so often, we’re reaching for the whole staircase and we haven’t even taken the first step. So for me, that first step was wiping everything out and that wasn’t from a place of fear. That was from a place of trust. And I think that the second key is taking action from that place of trust and not from fear, because me looking at my business like if it doesn’t work, I’m on the streets, every action I took was rooted in fear and it causes struggle and suffering inside of me that made me resent my business and everybody that I was working with. So I think for somebody who is having a hard time wrapping their head around how to trust, it’s a simple question. Do you want to be happy, or do you want to struggle? I know we’ve been environmentally conditioned to believe that it has to be a struggle for it to work right, but at the end of the day, really at the end of the day, you are such a powerful creator and until we learn to trust ourselves and that part of ourselves, we’ll always just repeat the same stuff.

And then the second thing that helped me is just making a decision. It was like putting essential oil over my soul because making one decision, even if it was the most fucked up decision or the worst decision, at least I made a decision and I had a step, an action; I had something. I think where we start to get really stuck and in our own way is when we just don’t make a decision and we get so afraid that we’re going to make the wrong one. Even wiping out the whole business could have been a worst decision ever, but it felt like a relief because okay, I had something. I had put one foot forward and then of course the next step showed up. So I think a blend of those two things, which is pretty practical, it’s getting out of our own way, trusting your ability and your resourcefulness and is making a damn decision.

Sarah:                You mentioned repeating things over and over and that’s what happens – I believe that – when we don’t learn the lesson we needed from that experience; it’s just going to repeat itself in other ways. Where have you seen that in your life? Has that ever showed up for you where the same damn thing keeps happening over and over again, or you manifest the same situation over and over again? How do we ultimately then change that? How do we stop repeating these old habits and patterns, and maybe even some of it is programmed from past lives as well?

Tori:                   Yeah. I actually am realizing that we were talking about that a second ago … I was going to say off the record, which is the name of my new program. So I was like… Wait, that sounds familiar.

Sarah:                Maybe that’s my program.

Tori:                   It’s showing up right now for me, and this is kind of heady so bear with me, listeners. The pattern I have in my love life is the exact pattern I have in my money and the exact pattern I have in my career. That struck me. I’m vibrating right now because my body has made this huge connection, so huge that I still haven’t even been able to unwrap it all. But it’s something that I think we all need to start really looking at, because when we start to repeat this, I think we are basically in an unconscious cycle with the external world. We’re not in a conscious cycle with our inner being. And so I think what has helped me unwrap this a lot more is to compare it to other areas of my life and then start to put the pieces together. Like, oh, this usually happens right around the time when I’m supposed to be emotionally open, or this usually happens right around the time that I get what I want. Self-sabotage. This usually happens right around the same time that I’m about to make a career move. All of a sudden, everything freezes up. My bank account, I stop having sex. Everything just stops, and it’s the same freaking thing all across the board for me personally. I will be very surprised if someone else finds that they’ve shown up differently in their career, their money and their love life. I believe that how you show up at one place is how you show up everywhere. I’ve heard that for so long and now I’m truly watching it from…

Sarah:                You have to be really honest with yourself, cause I had a coach point that out to me before, and she also had me see it in my potential clients in my business where she was like, if they’re saying no to say a program I’m hosting, that they’re saying they want to do so bad, that it’s exactly what they’ve been looking for, but it costs too much money and they’re saying no to me in this situation. Well, I’ve been that person before too, but they’re probably saying no in a lot of other areas of their life when they know the things their heart, their intuition is telling them yes, yes, yes, but then there’s this money thing or whatever that block is that’s saying no, it shows up in all these different areas and to be able to connect that. I hope people are having some a-has right now where it’s like, oh yeah, the way I show up or like what you’re saying, kind of just shutting down in money, shutting down in sex, shutting down in your business or paralysis, this decision paralysis in all these areas. Oftentimes it shows up in all these different places. So how do we stop that, Tori?

Tori:                   I don’t think we know. Shadow work is so interesting because you don’t know until you truly know it. So the shadow is how the unconscious world works. You’re just sort of ebbing and flowing. So I do always bring it back to trust. You’re going to know what you need to know when you need to know it. And right now, I’ve gotten to this rock bottom place – and I say this from an empowered heart – I look at rock bottom like fuck yeah, we’re about to rise. I’m like, take me there. Let’s do this. And now that I’m at that space where I’m looking at everything and I’m at this threshold of not anymore. Not anymore, because until we get to that threshold, we’ll just stay in the dance and the dance can still be productive. Who knows if I would have realized this a year ago? I might still be with an ex-partner.

Sarah:                You’ve been told that before. I’ve been told that before, that where you show up in one place is how you show up in all these other places. But for some reason now is the time that you’re actually realizing, oh, Holy shit. yeah, because you probably needed to know that now. What were you saying though? You could have been where you were.

Tori:                   Totally, and it would have been a completely different situation. But I think when we begin to go down into the shadow work, the biggest thing we have to remember is that nothing’s wrong with us. It’s not about fixing this or getting rid of the pattern or ex-ing it out, it’s about bringing awareness and acceptance to your subconscious body because it’s a part of who you are so that you can take more inspired action, more conscious action. That’s really what is, so is this the end of my cycle of how I show up at one place, how I show up everywhere? No, but it’s going to be the end of me repeating that particular behavior. And now that I have the awareness and I’ve accepted it and I’ve understood it and had conversations with it, now I can take different actions. And the more that we do this, the more that we just step into radical responsibility for our path, the more skillful of a creator you become. And if you look at it that way, then it’s not this dreadful, ‘Oh God, I have to fix another limiting belief’. It’s like, okay, I get to experience myself in a new way again and again and again and again until my mission on this planet is done. That might be a little big picture for some people, but at the end of the day, what else are we here for than to experience the shades of our layers in different ways and to love each step? We didn’t come here to be perfect, satisfied unicorns.

Sarah:                I mean, we’re all unicorns.

Tori:                   We’re all unicorns, but we’re all different. Maybe you were a unicorn in a past life. I’ve been playing with past life because right now I’m in hypnotherapy and I read the book Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss, and it talks about explosion of the brain. I was like, Whoa, coming home to the soul. And I was like, well, I want to do hypnotherapy. I want to go back into my past lives and understand why the frig I keep doing this thing and I haven’t gone there. It was way different than what I anticipated and that’s why I’m looking at the shadow work, like a whole different perspective and I’m looking at past lives from a different perspective, because even in that moment, Sarah, I was reaching for this fix. I was like, Oh, the past lives thing is going to be the thing that gets me to this next step, and then I’m going to get that medal and then the universe is going to reward me with a million dollars. No, the universe is not. It could, but me playing that game with the universe was not. That was unconscious. That was in itself a repetitive pattern.

Sarah:                So tell me about hypnotherapy. What was your experience?

Tori:                   Oh man. So I thought that it was going to be a lot more like you felt like you were sleeping, but you’re definitely fully aware of everything that you’re saying. It’s the gut reactions. You’re in such a trance-relaxed state. If you’re with somebody that you truly trust and you can just go into that trance state, and by trance, I mean, it’s that meditative state right before you’re about to bob off to sleep. You’re still there; you’re still feeling certain sensations, but your imagery and your higher faculties are much more heightened because you don’t have all the stimulus from the external world. You’ve just sort of dropped in, and from that place, what comes out of your mouth is just the truth, the raw, honest truth. And so I was hearing my seven year old self say that she’s stupid and no one’s going to ever understand her. And as I’m saying it, I was like, oh my God, this is in me still. So it was just the biggest mirror, the sharpest, biggest mirror that I’ve ever experienced. I definitely have had flashes of scenes that aren’t from this world for sure, but it wasn’t as instant fix at all. It was like I was literally like peeling back layers of an onion. And so every time I went in there and I still have like a month’s worth of hypnotherapy to do, so it’s going to be really cool to see the end result. But as I started to get more comfortable going into that trance state, it took me less time to work around my ego, who was like, nothing’s wrong with you? You’re fine. This is stupid. Why are you actually doing this? That voice just got smaller and smaller and I could go straight to the source. And then from that place, I was able to download from my intuition, so she started to record me. She would ask me a question to my higher self, and the things that came out of my mouth, I was just like, Whoa, who is this? It was just like this golden energy that I would connect with because in hypnotherapy, they connect you with your resources, your highest self, the mother earth and your inner child, and all of them have different things to say. And so in hypnotherapy you can start to, I guess, communicate, access, exchange energy with all of them. I think for me that once I got past some of the inner child work, the downloads that came through for my higher power were just gorgeous. She writes them all down and then I read them later and I’m like, Whoa. I said that? It’s really cool. It gives you a sense of belonging.

Sarah:                Yeah. That makes me really want to go and try it.

Tori:                   Oh my God, Sarah, you would love it. You would love it. It’s like muscle testing but with your voice sort of. It’s that first thing that comes out.

Sarah:                Uncensored. Unfiltered.

Tori:                   Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you would love it.

Sarah:                Connection to source. Did you have this expectation that past lives would come through really clearly in that, and then you said you saw these kinds of glimpses, but nothing is crystal clear? Is that sort of what you mean?

Tori:                   Yeah, because I feel the more that I take responsibility for this life that I have as Tori Washington September 2018, the less then I’m looking in the past for these answers. One thing that I uncovered in hypnotherapy was how uncomfortable I am being human. I identify so much with the divinity of my being, which is probably why I love to teach them the laws of the universe. That just lights me up so much because I identify so much with my divinity and it felt so divine to imagine myself in Egypt and in these different realms and on these different waves of consciousness. I’m realizing that in this lifetime my biggest lesson is learning how to be human, how to walk the mystical path with practical feet, and honor just the humanity of myself and letting my humanness be a gift to the world. And through that, the divinity is always going to be there because that’s my source, but it was never, I don’t think the purpose of my hypnotherapy in this moment is to journey to past lives. I think the universe is constantly being like, nope, sit right here in this life. We know you want to go journey to all these different places. You chose this body in this lifetime, so look at her, honor her when she’s three and I went to two and even in my mother’s womb. And I was like, wow, I haven’t been comfortable being human. I’ve been running away from that humanity, and that’s spiritual bypassing and even using our healing modalities as a mask, sometimes a crutch.

Sarah:                So you’re obviously more comfortable in your upper chakras than your lower chakras or that grounding. You like to be in your intuitive higher self, just like me and grounding can be hard. I’ve noticed that partially because of that, I have a lot of anxiety in my life and it’s something that I’ve very consciously been healing and it’s improved drastically over the last year as we were talking about, discussing before. But do you find that because you want to just be in that divine connection to the universe in your divinity, that sometimes that the anxiety starts to creep up and you forget to ground yourself ever?

Tori:                   My God, yeah. Yeah, absolutely because it goes back to not feeling safe in your body and you know, it’s so crazy and we’ve talked about this, cause I used to text you like, okay, I really want to try CBD cause this anxiety thing is messing with my whole day, but I was even anxious about taking CBD. And even when I go to very deep meditations, they can induce anxiety for me because I’m anxious to go to that level of consciousness, or to go to these different dimensions. I mean, there’s different dimensions and so I would get this anxiety even around that, and then something clicked. It’s like the more human I allow myself to be, the more I allow myself to experience the earth realm, the safer I’m going to feel going to my intuitive chakras and I can even take that to a more expansive place. But before I made that connection, I would have out of body panic attacks, because it felt like I was this open wound and the world and everybody I talked to was like hot water and prickly, so I would stay at home a lot of the time or I would only talk to a few people that I felt safe with and it just starts to become this debilitating, just awful feeling. Just so awful and miserable, and then you resent your humanity.

Sarah:                It’s really hard to have community and sisterhood, which is a lot of what you have created now. But it’s really hard to have that when there’s this voice that’s saying the world is not safe or your energy is not grounded and there is just all this fear that surrounds your energy. Have you felt that?

Tori:                   Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love that you said that because I think as humans, we can’t deny the fact that connection is just so important. We’re meant to be in a tribe, and so when all the tribe members and the world itself starts to look like a battlefield that you have to struggle through it, you’re totally isolated and I think that can manifest into self-doubt and self-sabotage and depression and so many other different things. And at the same time, it’s also so hard to put it into words. Who do you talk to besides that voice in your head?

Sarah:                Yeah, it goes down this black hole sometimes of conversation inside your head where it just goes and you could go on forever, thinking about and feeling all the fear and that open wound you described. All these things that are really scary. And I resonate with too just almost not being able to put to words that experience of that out of body panic attack, where the words I’ve found best to describe what I was experiencing is like that my energy body was separate from my physical body. And I think it really relates to your experience in some ways where it’s like you want to be just this upper chakra, intuitive being and you want to stay there all the time. I wanted to be there all the time too because it was so fun. It felt so good and it’s like you’re basking in golden light, but then all of a sudden, your physical body is like, hey, we’re still here. Remember, don’t put your feet down. There also are some things that we need for survival, and it’s just like this disconnect from your physical and spiritual body. That’s sort of how I was feeling it at least when I had these really horrible panic attacks. Part of the healing process has been integrating the physical into the spiritual and I love that you did, and I was part of that 12:12 Experience where it’s like using these universal laws and just divine guidance in a practical way that’s so beautiful around relationships or around money or around law of attraction. And you have been on a freaking law of attraction manifesting, just awesome streak lately. Can we just say so? Tell me about that. Tell me how you’ve been using law of attraction and maybe even all the universal laws to create some of the things you’ve manifested into your life lately.

Tori:                   Yeah. It’s been a wild ride, I think since May when I texted you and I had my biggest month in my business. It’s been up and down for sure. I think the biggest lesson has been that just because you’re using all these laws, we’re not ever on a linear path. One of the laws actually says the rollercoaster keeps going. I’ve used it to manifest money in my business. I’ve also used it to understand when I’ve manifested something that is not what I desire, and I’ve also used it to manifest a soulmate, a connection as far as sisterhood goes, apartments. It’s almost overwhelming. In fact, it is overwhelming how much has shifted now that I’ve entered into this dance. It’s like I press this button and then all of a sudden, it was like action, action, action, action.

And one thing that I’m wanting to expand on beyond just universal laws is what do you do when you get what you manifested? I think that’s something that we’re not really talking about because even in the 12:12 Experience, I asked all the women what do you really want? What is your desired outcome? Some people said they want a soulmate. Most people said they wanted financial freedom, and the other half we’re at about 80 women. I would say 30% soulmate – I’m going to botch math now. Watch – 30% soulmate, 30% careers. They want to have a fulfilling career, and then 40% said financial freedom. And I had everybody just list everything out and air out what do you really want? And then I said, well, what does that feel like? What is really the fear that’s blocking you from receiving that? And almost everyone said, what will happen when I get it? What if I can’t sustain it? What if it gets taken away? What if it goes to shit? And this light bulb went off in me, and that’s kind of how I made the connection with this whole the way we show up in one place is the way we show up everywhere. I will say we’ll always manifesting, but we’re so worried about protecting ourselves against losing what we want to manifest that we’re not actually in the flow. We’re still in that controlled state and you’re either being a controller or a creator.

So, a lot of the work in the 12:12 Experience, I thought we were going to manifest all this stuff and people did, man. One of the ladies manifested an extra thousand dollars. I had women packing up their stuff and moving. I was like, okay. Do your thing. I love it. But a lot of the work was around why don’t you give yourself permission to receive? Where did you learn that it wasn’t safe to get what you want, and what conclusions did you come up with about who you’re going to be when you get what you want? Because everyone believes when I get this thing, everything’s going to change and to me, in my experience, it hasn’t been true. Yes, I made the biggest month in my business, but I was still me. I was still meditating on the same shit. I was still taking my CBD and doing my thing. I was still moving through human stuff. I don’t think that we talk about that enough. I think it’s a step that we skip and it’s something that I really want to offer women a chance to tap into, because to me, it’s like we’re all using the law of attraction, but we’re using it in an unconscious cycle again where it’s like, get what you want, fuck it up, get what you want, fuck it up, get what you want. It’s still the law of attraction at play, but what I really want to teach women is how to use these laws consciously from a place of alignment and relaxation and flow, not from this, cause we’re always using the 12 laws. They’re always, always at play.

Sarah:                It sounds like there’s kind of a difference between really tapping into some of the masculine behind that and then the feminine behind that as well. Whereas like to me, the masculine within that context would be kind of forced, lots of action taking versus the feminine would be just that pure trust and flow and letting it be organic. Actually, I just did a program with Ryan [unclear; 32:31]. Have you ever heard of him?

Tori:                   No. Who’s that?

Sarah:                You’ll love him. Hopefully he’ll be on the podcast someday. He’s so tapped into his divine masculine and his wife, Chris is just this beautiful, feminine goddess energy. They’re a powerhouse. But anyway, I found that I was experiencing a lot of what you just said the women in 12:12 Experience were experiencing. It is like I never learned how to receive, and so therefore it was like I was closed off to receiving and that part of my feminine energy was just closed for business. I was really good at giving because I learned how to do that really well, but didn’t really learn how to receive and so I just went through this process of opening myself up to receive again and not just receive money. Yes, money is an easy example and that’s certainly something I’m working on, but also receive love, receive just support and comfort from my partner, all of these things. So, we use this hashtag #Icanreceivethis throughout 30 days to just start to open ourselves up to receive. But my point being, just that there’s kind of this dance that you have been talking about between our masculine and our feminine, between all of this as well. So where have you been seeing yourself kind of lean on the masculine, lean on the feminine in your life? I know you also mentioned that part of your law of attraction and your manifestation is attracting this divine masculine into your life that’s beautiful as well.

Tori:                   Oh, I want to meet that…. I want to do #Icanreceivethis. I love that. It’s like a hashtag affirmation. So many light bulbs are going off hearing you talk because I relate to what you just said so much, and I love that you used money and love as an example because where the easier I can receive love, the easier I can receive money. It’s the same thing. And then in my journal, I’m writing this all out, Sarah, and I’m like, what if money is love? What if this whole time I’ve been looking at it as this blank energy? What if it’s just love? And what if what my higher self-guided me to do – I’ll back up just to put the background behind the journal prompts and then tie it in with the divine masculine. He’s going to love that he’s being referred to that. I wrote down in my journal, how come it’s so easy for me to manifest soulmates, but not money? It was happening very different. I manifested money, but it took like reading five books, repeating a whole paragraph every night and good Lord, when I need a man. Hi, he’s there. So weird, so I asked myself, why is it so easy for me to manifest love and intimate connection that feels aligned with me because I don’t really entertain… When I got unengaged, I had no interest in running out and dating a bunch of people, doing all these things. I just wanted to reconnect with my sexuality and my needs and my core values again. And it was really easy for me to identify what those were.

When I identified that it was so easy, I realized right after that, that’s when I wrote down, what if money is love? What if money is the exact same thing and I’ve just compartmentalized it into this different thing that I have to work really hard to receive? Because there’s a part of me that feels really worthy of an intimate partner. So I wanted to ask her because she’s got the answer, she knows something. I wanted to ask her what the heck’s going on, girl? How do you do that? And this brilliant knowledge came through – money is just love, and the more that I can allow myself to receive love, the easier I can allow myself to receive money and the easier I can make changes and all these different things. So, when I got unengaged, I did go as rock bottom, the rock bottom. You knew what I was going through at that time. It was total darkness; could not see the light, and every time I get to those points, I just grab my pen and my paper and I just have to just figure it. Not even figure this out, I just have to let what’s showing up show up. And all I wrote down was I am only available to receive a loving, emotionally connected, just started letting myself truly channel all this stuff. cause it’s not that I never want to feel this again. Of course, I don’t, but again, I hit that threshold of not again. Not again will I find myself in a situation so codependent to another human that I can’t find my own light. I was in a very unhealthy codependent relationship and I hit that threshold and I wrote down on there, I want an interconnected, divine relationship where we both are standing in our power, and I just felt it in my body. I didn’t know it was going to come. Certainly didn’t think it was going to come as fast as it did. But here we are a year later and I have this divine masculine in my life and he is – I don’t know how else to describe it – but this grounding force of nature that allows in such a beautiful way, allows so much connection to take place. And that’s the divine masculine for all the listeners. It’s that sacred container of protection for the feminine flow to spin and play and like dance within. So even being in the presence of a divine masculine, and I’ve also met since I moved to San Diego, three other men in my life that are just friends and really have just shown me that it’s safe to even have male friends that don’t want anything from you and just are showing up as that safe container, and it allows the wise, wild woman to show up.

Now, it’s been beautiful. Like Holy Kapow that’s in my life right now. And to honor my previous relationship looking back, he also has so many beautiful divine masculine qualities, but when you’re in this codependent relationship, there’s not that much space for any truth and trust and that’s necessary for these energies to truly thrive. They become the shadow versions of themselves when they’re in a co-dependent relationship. So now this is my long ass answer. Sorry, wrapping it up. But now that I have been in the presence of this divine masculine, holy mirror, I’m seeing this wild wise woman and I don’t recognize her and she’s scared me and I’ve pushed her away and I’m not used to receiving or feeling this much sexual energy. I’m not used to being held and seen and heard and truly taking care of. And so it’s brought on a lot of opportunity for conversation between me and him around where we’re at in the relationship, and then that has also allowed us to talk about finances and career moves. I’ve noticed, like I said, this pattern of when I get to this peak I contract and what is that? And it’s happened in this relationship that I’m in now. It’s happened in my business and it’s happened in my money story. So now the law of attraction and the laws of the universe, I’m using them to patch up and heal the voids that I have gotten really familiar with, and that has helped me step into receiving mode. And I agree with you, it all comes back to the art of receiving and no one really teaches us that.

Sarah:                No, and it’s vital to be able to be that wild wise woman, to be able to receive the space, to dance, to flow, to express yourself and to be creative and connected to your intuition. I was just thinking, as you were talking that first of all, I just loved hearing you talk. I’m going to be honest.

Tori:                   I’m so long-winded. I want to start a podcast so bad, but I’m like, girl, who’s going to have to listen to me talk?

Sarah:                People loved listening. That’s what I was going to say. I was going to say after our first conversation on the podcast – I don’t remember; it was like one of the first 10 episodes – and I got a lot of messages after. I think I shared a couple with you that were just people love your energy. And I don’t think it’s in a unhealthy ‘I want to be her. I want to look like her. I want her life’ kind of way cause that to me is the manifestation of jealousy. But instead it was a ‘I love her energy and I want to be around her energy because I want to feel this spiritual connection. I want to feel like I can communicate with my higher self and get these downloads and that I want the bravery and the courage to move across the country like we talked about last time and start this new relationship. And so, you know and I know that oftentimes what we see in another is really a reflection of ourselves, and that’s I think proof to everyone that they have exactly what they see in you. They already have all of that. But if there’s a woman listening, going, it feels so far away for me to feel that aligned or that brave or that intuitively connected to source energy, where could she start? Is there a spiritual practice? Is there a meditation? What practical tools or just words of advice can you give that woman who wants to feel that way, wants that energy?

Tori:                   Oh, that’s such a good question. Well, the law of correspondence states just what you said. I’m looking at my universe 4th law and it states that everybody is a mirror for your internal world. I love that you pointed that out because that’s a really great step is to start to recognize that the energies in your life are just mirrors, and when they become just mirrors, they are less threatening. You can take responsibility, so the first step is that. Let’s take responsibility for not just your bullshit, but for your bad-assery as well, and really taking ownership over all the things that you find joyful about yourself. And I know there’s probably one listener that’s like, well, I don’t find anything joyful about myself and I felt like that too a couple of months ago with my business. Again, it just goes back to trusting that if you can see it in someone else, then of course it’s there. It might take some time. It might take some opening and allowing, but it’s there.

One thing that I love is mirror work. If everybody’s a mirror and go sit in front of an actual mirror and look at yourself in the eye and just start to stare in your eyes, and you’ll start to just see everything around you dissolve, and you’ll start to witness all the masks come off and you’ll start to notice like that freckle under your eye, or the tip of your brow and just the curve of your lips and noticing all these human aspects of yourself, and then recognizing that the energy that’s witnessing those is your divinity. And there is such a beautiful game you can play with yourself. Even when you’re brushing your teeth, don’t just stand there and brush your teeth, get up in there and be like, how are you feeling today? What do you need from me? What do you need to say? What do you need to feel? Maybe that’s a warm cup of coffee. Maybe that’s hugging yourself for 30 seconds. Maybe that’s walking outside barefoot to get the mail instead of putting your flip flops on. For some reason, it’s like a game changer for me. It’s like hot grass and I feel so good. Sometimes I just rush and put my flip flops on and I’m like, no, I feel like a goddess when I am barefoot with the mail. Anyway, it’s just little things like that to just honor yourself because we’re so busy honoring everybody else and putting everybody else on this pedestal, and I think we just have to come back to the basics of doing that for ourselves.

Sarah:                Yeah. I love that. I love you.

Tori:                   I love you.

Sarah:                I love you in my life. I love the energy that you bring to this.

Tori:                   I love you too, Sarah. You are such a safe coven of energy. I feel so safe and well taken care of when I’m in your presence, whether online or in-person, or even when we used to coach together, and there is a difference between a mentor coach and a therapist, cause I get this question a lot from women and any listeners who are like, what’s it like to hire a coach? What is that? I can figure this out on my own or I could Google it. It is the energy. It’s what me and Sarah are witnessing in each other right now. We’re both going to end this call and our whole day is going to be elevated, and not that you can’t get elevation from therapy cause I’m in a version of therapy right now, but when it comes to vibrationally shifting and pivoting and up-leveling, you get something from that person. And it’s not like that clingy energy where you’re taking something from them, it’s just this even exchange of recognition and acknowledgement and being heard and seen that changes you.

Sarah:                My soul sees your soul and acknowledges your soul and holds space for you to just be authentically you and show up as you are without these expectations. I think it’s rare to find that in much of society today and when you find it, you want more of it. I’ve had coaches who’ve been really, really good at that and coaches who have been not as skilled at that, and I’m immediately attracted more towards my personal coaches that are just like they’re holding that sacred container for you to grow and to feel however you feel, whether it’s the best fucking day of your life or you’re feeling really shitty that day. It’s okay and it will pass and yeah, I don’t know where I was going. I just love it.

Tori:                   Pretty special. I do too. Let’s do it for the rest of our lives. And one day we’re going to create a dual program together. I feel like something’s brewing between us for the last few years.

Sarah:                It’s been brewing for years.

Tori:                   I know, but when it comes, you guys just wait….

Sarah:                It’s going to be fucking amazing.

Tori:                   Well, just like you and I have seen each other through so many stages of our lives. I was even just reflecting with Laura. Laura is one of our…. We all used to teach together back in – it was college for me – and you were my first yoga teacher and I was reflecting on Laura about how we met and then got sent to Arizona and then came back to teach, all of us, just crazy. And then I think, what has it been? Eight years later here we are. I encourage everybody when you stop listening to this, just sit down somewhere and acknowledge the progress and the change and the magnitude of your human experience, because when I’m feeling really down, sometimes I just do that. I don’t reminisce with the past heartache. I’m like well, what’s all the good stuff that’s happened? You mentioned doing that this December. I can’t wait to just recap all the pearls from each month, and it’s so magical when you think of it that way. So magical.

Sarah:                And we’ve seen each other go through a lot of that rollercoaster, that dance over the last eight years. And yeah, something’s brewing, everyone. It’s coming. Wait. It doesn’t have a name yet, but…

Tori:                   It’s not quite in a law of action. It’s still law of vibration.

Sarah:                Exactly! In there somewhere, or between us maybe. I feel like we’re just going to know. Do you feel that? I feel like we’re just going to know when it’s time to actually put it into the law of action and give it a name and make it tangible. Right now, I just feel like there’s something that’s waiting for us when we’re ready for it.

Tori:                   I mean, anytime I ask you for business advice – Sarah is like my go-to for everything in life – you always tell me you’re going to know when. What I always tell myself is, you’re going to know when you need to know it. You’re going to know. This idea you’re telling me sounds cool and it could be successful, but I feel like something else is there, and that is the first step of working with your intuition.

Sarah:                Yeah. And trusting that, right? Even if you don’t have all the answers right this minute, right this second today, trust that they’re going to come when they need to come, when you need to hear them.

Tori:                   Yeah. And I know trust is not for many listeners, it’s not that cool answer that you want. It doesn’t have a five-step process, but honestly, I want everybody to really harness that trust with themselves. It’s a learning experience. It is a process that you’re developing as you’re going. And if you’re having a hard time trusting yourself, do what I’m doing right now and look at how you’re not trusting maybe your coworkers or look how you’re not trusting your partner. Feel into those other areas of your life, because it could give you some insight on the relationship that you’re having with yourself.

Sarah:                Thank you. Thank you for sharing your energy and your love, and I just appreciate you as human being and as a soul in my life so much, so thank you, Tori.

Tori:                   You’re so welcome.

Sarah:                Can you just let everyone know what’s coming up next that they might be able to sign up for, get involved with you or join your community and how they can find you?

Tori:                   Yeah. September 24th, we start my new 4-week masterclass. The idea came just like Sarah said it would. It’s called Off the Record and it is risky, bold, and super exciting. We’re going to be unlocking the manifestation secrets behind career moves, soulmates, sex and money, and it’s going to be four weeks of interactive work with me to you unravel the basic pattern in your life and how it’s playing a key role in these four areas. I think sex and money is something that we all have this secret yearning to talk about, so my goal is to create a sacred space for us to just go there and rip the Band-Aid off, have these soul sister-style conversations, and then also activate that intention, that action to make the changes that we’ve been dying to make and stop repeating the same behavior. That starts on the 24th. The cart actually opens tonight. I’m excited. It’s going to be amazing. It’s going to be so amazing.

Sarah:                I’ll link to that in the show notes and yeah, those four kinds of categories there seems like something that’s going to be attractive to a lot of people. And like you said, it’s like we were afraid to talk about money and sex and even our job sometime. It’s just like letting that all out and we’ve talked a lot about this sacred container. You’re going to be holding this sacred platform, containers, space for people to have real, raw, vulnerable conversations around these. It’s going to be amazing, I’m sure. I’ll link to that, and then they can find you on Instagram at @IAMTORIWASHINGTON and you have a new Facebook group.

Tori:                   Oh yes. Thank you. It’s the Mystic Collective, so join us inside there. I go Live all the time teaching on these little bites of wisdom. It’s completely free. It’s on Facebook, so you guys can check that out as well in the show notes.

Sarah:                Yes. Your live streams are awesome. Thank you for sharing your energy. Thanks for being on the show and I’m sure we’ll have you back again soon.

Tori:                   Thank you.

Sarah:                Thank you for listening to today’s episode with Tori Washington. You can find more info on her and her new program Off the Record in the show notes. And if you are yearning to unlock your intuitive powers and step into alignment with the universe, I invite you to join me and 30 other women for five weeks of Intuitive Soul School. The investment is $144 and the return is a completely new relationship to yourself and the universe that surrounds you. I’ll also drop a link in the show notes for that program. Intuitive Soul School begins September 23rd. And as you heard us mention, maybe, just maybe there might be something Tori and I collaborate on in the future, so let us know. Would you be excited for a program that we co-host together? Let’s make it happen. All right, tribe. Have a beautiful rest of your day and I will see you next time.

 

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