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In this episode, I discuss:

• Understanding the fear preventing you from using your voice
• Receive a powerful alchemical throat chakra healing from Sarah
• Commonalities among empaths and the fear of speaking out
• How to recalibrate your nervous system for a louder voice in the world

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Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Uncensored Empath, a place for us to discuss highly-sensitives energy illness, healing, and transformation. My name is Sarah Small, and I’m a life and success coach for empaths who want to create a thriving body, business, and life. Think of this podcast as your no-B.S. Guide to navigating life, health and entrepreneurship. You’ll get straight to the point, totally holistic tips from me in real time as I navigate this healing and growth journey right beside you. This is a Soul Fire production.

Understanding the fear preventing you from using your voice

Hello, and welcome back to another episode. I have spent my day on calls inside of Illuminated, inside of the empath leaders’ membership, with one-on-one clients, and there has been the most obvious theme in all of these calls today – around our voice. Around the impact that we desire to have with our voice, around the clarity and precision in which we desire to speak. And yet there’s also so much fear that I’ve seen arise within this empath community around what does it mean to use my voice? And when I go Live, what if something happens? What if it’s not perfect? What if my dog barks? What if my kids run into the room? What if I mess up? What if they don’t like what I have to say? What if it’s not felt in a powerful way? What if I don’t make sense? What if I forget? What if I forget what to say and I blank out? Maybe I should just record it. I’m just going to record it on my phone. I’ll post it later. They’ll still hear me. They’ll still see me. That way if I mess up, I just don’t have to post it. Does that sound like you?

But there’s a power in going Live, being in real time intimately connected and present with the person across the screen from you, even when you cannot see them, because as empaths, we can feel them. We can attune our energy, our little empath antenna/feelers to feel them, no matter if they’re in the same city, down the street or across the world from you. The way your voice can land in somebody’s energy body can make them feel as if you’re in the same room with them. We have to stand up and we have to start using our voice and practice using our voice to hone in on this skill, this muscle that innately lives within you. But for any number of reasons, the inner child that also lives within you may feel like she shouldn’t, like she can’t, like that’s just too scary, too much fear. What if I’m too much? What if I’m not enough? Oh my gosh! What if so-and-so logs on? What if my ex-boyfriend is there? What if my mom sees this? What if my dad sees this? And we get in our heads. We get so in our heads and we have this whole fricking dialogue, this whole conversation and we talk ourselves out of it.

Underneath that you have something to say. You have a purpose. You have a mission. Hell, you might be the leader of a movement, but we keep so much of that buried out of fear. We keep it locked up for ourselves. I’ll just keep this to myself this time. Maybe next time I’ll share. And truly it’s a disservice to the world to keep all of your words, all of your insights, the wisdom, the codes, the knowledge that you hold locked up within you, when within all of that is so much healing that you can activate within others. So much change that you can be a part of. So many connections that you can make that provide the gateway into experience and memories.

If you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you know I’ve had several people on to talk about end-of-life experiences. I’ve talked a lot about my own grief and whether it’s somebody who’s nearing the end of their life, or you’ve experienced a loss in your life, for me, it brought up big questions. Like how do I want to be using my voice? And the case studies, the research show that the people who are nearing end of life lying in bed, who are having dreams that are extremely vivid and clear, that they’re reflecting on those moments when they felt something. The intentional moments, the experiences that form into memories and life.

It was once taught to me that there are thinking thoughts and feeling thoughts. Thinking thoughts are very cerebral. They are up in your head. Thinking thought comes in. Thinking thought goes out, thinking thought comes in. Thinking thought goes out. I don’t remember any of those thoughts. In fact, up to 90% of them were the same as yesterday, but I still don’t have any memories or emotions attached to them because they were just thinking thoughts. A feeling thought is in your heart. The thought comes in, drops down into your heart. You feel something. The feeling thought you remember because it is attached to an emotion. The feeling thoughts are the ones that you remember, the ones that begin to form and shape our lives, the experiences we have, and so we as creators, teachers, and healers on the planet as empaths likely have a lot of thinking thoughts – information in, information out – and unless we allow ourselves to also drop into our heart and feel it, it just zooms in one ear and out the other ear.

But when we allow ourselves to drop in, tap into it, we speak on it. It moves us. We create an imprint of energy around that thought, that teaching, that healing code, not only do we feel it, but others feel it and something moves and activates within them as well. And they remember the moment you said that because they were also moved. They felt it in their body. It wasn’t just registered as another thinking thought for them. More information in one ear, out the other ear. They remember watching your live stream. They remember being in your paid courses, your containers. They remember meeting you for the first time. They remember reading your post because you activated a feeling within them. It may have been a teaching moment or a storytelling moment or a truth bomb drop or a philosophy that you stand for, it doesn’t matter but there’s feeling, and that’s what we’re best at as empaths are so good at feeling if we allow ourselves to.

I’ve been talking so much about archetypes in the last several months, and many of you have taken the empath archetype quiz, and you know that one of those archetypes from the patterns that I see most often an empath is numb. The numb empath who doesn’t allow herself to feel because of the past, because of the trauma of how maybe deep she felt as a little girl and how that was too much to carry, too much to integrate, too much to digest and she shut herself off to the world. Or maybe she was told she was sensitive, that she was weak, that she shouldn’t be so emotional and so she learned how to numb and she developed this skill of blocking out, pushing away, hiding, burying her emotions. When in fact underneath that numbness, that armor, that hardness is softness, is the ability to feel so deeply, potentially deeper than the average person. And within that ability to feel deeply is the ability to increase our emotional intelligence, the ability to use our emotions as compasses to guide our words, to guide our presence, to guide our actions that we choose to take in this lifetime. You are all powerful fucking people on this planet, and we need you alive and expressed and feeling, embodying your emotional intelligence, letting the thinking thoughts drop down into your heart, letting yourself speak and move and be led by the feeling thought, and to be able to feel your energy and the power that you bring to this planet.

But what I heard today in so many of these powerful women’s voices is that they don’t feel powerful. They feel afraid. They feel afraid of how they’ll be perceived. They feel afraid of pushing Go Live, that little red button on the bottom of your phone screen induces panic, makes them want to go back and hide. I want to invite you into the possibility that this is just old programming, that there’s not anything to actually be afraid of. When you speak from your heart, when you are present with yourself and your community, that God/ Spirit / Universe will channel through you and you will say exactly what you are meant to say, exactly what needs to be said, that you don’t need all the notes and the preparation, and you don’t need all the courses for more information to share. Instead, you as you are today are a perfect channel to lead, to speak, to use your voice, to tell your story.

And what if the way you told your story has got to change, and you graduated from the mess to message outline of how you’ve experienced life, and instead, your story got to be from the seat of integration and embodiment, a place of pleasure, a place of devotion, a place of saying yes, I accept the invitation to speak, I accept the invitation to be seen in my power. I accept the invitation to be heard and to trust that that is going to activate the feeling thought within other people’s hearts as well.

Commonalities among empaths and the fear of speaking out

Last fall, I hosted a class called Throat Chakra Alchemy. This was the highest attended and registered for free training that I have ever hosted. There were over 300 people with us in throat chakra alchemy, and I was reminded of this experience and that powerful night where so many things changed for those who attended. And I pulled up my notes from that night and I want to share some of the things that were spoken about, even though it was from last fall, there seems to be a resurfacing of empaths who are curious, who want to say yes, who want to push live, who want to go, move, speak lead. And if you feel like that’s you, you’re being called to move, to speak for a reason, and your voice is yearning to be heard first by yourself and also by the world and in doing so, we have the opportunity to release any of the old wounds that may feel heavy, induce fear that are based on our inner child, our childhood, or even past lives and we choose to stand up and to speak, the deep knowing that lives within you gets to come back to life. She gets to unveil herself.

So, I’m curious if you’ve ever gotten super fatigued before a big opportunity, or maybe an invitation to speak and right beforehand you had a sore throat. You feel like you’re coming down with a cold, or maybe you’ve heard your voice crack when you were sharing a vulnerable story or answering a question, even if it was in more of an intimate setting, like with a coach or with a therapist, or maybe you have developed physical symptoms right before something amazing was about to happen in your life. And I bet you all know the sensation of feeling your throat drop into your stomach when you’re talking, when you get called on. These are examples of the physical sensations that we may see manifest as we hit energy maximums for our throat chakra. When we start to hit the edge of what we feel like we can say, when we start to hit the edge of our self-expression. And I remember telling this group of 300 souls last fall that in preparing for this very workshop that I hosted, that I hit an energetic edge myself. I woke up that morning, the day that I was meant to host this training and I was so tired and I texted my coach and I said, I’m so tired. I have this class tonight. Holy shit, there’s 300 people registered. I’m so tired. This can’t be happening. She mirrored back to me; this is just an energetic edge. This is what happens when you up-level. We have to learn how to hold the room, the space for 300 people in a free workshop before we can expect 300 people into our paid membership, our mastermind, into our programs, into our one-on-one coaching. So this was an amazing opportunity for me to feel in my nervous system 300 people are going to hear my voice tonight. And if I can’t speak to 300 people who said yes to a free masterclass on Zoom, then how do I expect my membership to grow to 300 people, for the podcast to grow to a million downloads? So this was an opportunity for me to stabilize that energy and calibrate my voice.

Receive a powerful alchemical throat chakra healing from Sarah

So if you were to imagine the power of your voice as if it were a knob on a stereo right now today, if it’s safe for you to close your eyes, I invite you to close your eyes and to just tune into your body and to get and receive the answer effortlessly from your intuition. What level is your volume currently set at? Where is that knob turned to on your stereo volume? To one, to a hundred? Where would it be today? Trust the first number, the first answer that comes to you and without judgment, just witness it. This is the volume of my voice today, the power of my voice today. Now imagine what would it feel like to turn that volume knob up 10 more ticks, 10 more degrees. And what if you were to keep going 10 more turning my volume up? Maybe it starts to just inch up one, two, three, four more until you feel like you’ve hit this number on that scale of one to a hundred where you’re like, this is my edge. My volume was at 20 today. I turned it up. I turned it up. I turned it up. I got to 60 and whoo, I feel a little panic in my belly. I don’t know that I’ve ever been any louder than 60. I don’t know what that feels like. Do I have to yell to be that loud? What does it mean to be that heard? What does it feel like in my body to be that expressed, and the stories come in and the ego comes in and the inner child comes in and the panic comes in and says, stay here. Stay right there.

And as I stepped on the virtual stage to host this masterclass last fall, I remember telling them my volume felt like it had stabilized at a solid 70 or 80, but this class itself has given me the opportunity to talk about my voice and to share my voice with you and to turn my voice up to 90 and see what that feels like in my body and stretch myself, stretch this edge, and see what limiting beliefs come up. What limiting beliefs came up for me as I stepped in front of all of you today? Why did I wake up tired this morning? And to be curious to explore when we hit those edges and what stories co-exist when we hit those points in our life, and we’re feeling like the story was that I wouldn’t be able to give everyone enough attention. There’s 300 people witnessing me, trusting me to guide them through this experience. I can’t possibly be present and speak to and let all of them come off mute and chat with me. It would take hours. And that was just an old story. It was a story that I had to over-mother. It was a story that I had to over-deliver. It was a story that I had to make everyone feel special by connecting to them individually, when in fact my power, the experience, the emotion, my energy could be felt just as much, regardless of whether everyone got to unmute and to speak on that evening. Regardless of whether everyone had turned their video off or on. Regardless of whether I got to learn every single person’s name. I got to that night to stretch myself, to trust that everyone would get what they needed, that everyone would feel supported, that everyone would feel seen, that everyone would feel activated simply by being in the room, simply by being in my energy, simply going through the exercises and breathing together and that I didn’t need to go and hand hold and make sure that that happened for every single person. Because if that’s the way I continued to choose to operate, I’d only ever be able to hold masterclasses for maybe like 20 people, max and I want to have a larger impact on the world. I want to touch more lives and if that’s the case, then I get to reprogram that belief. I get to rewire that thought and show up in this voice, in this seat in a slightly different way in order to hold and to stabilize at that level.

So I’ve mentioned those five empath patterns, one of which is the numb empath, which I see most often co-exist with throat chakra stuff, but each of them can be associated with our voice. So for example, the codependent empath is seeking approval, therefore she waits to be invited to talk and she holds other people and their voice on a pedestal. I’m never going to sound as powerful as her. My voice is never going to be received the way that she does. I’m never going to fill rooms like her. I’m not going to raise my hand to get on that stage, even if I was invited. Because what if I mess up? What if I displease them? I have a deep fear around sharing my voice and I want to be invited on the stage, but I’m afraid. What if they don’t like me? That’s often the story of the codependent empath. For the numb empath, we already talked a little bit about, but they’re afraid of being judged for what they have to say. And there’s fear of truly showing emotion within the voice. Well, maybe I could go up and I could read a script, but if you want me to speak from my heart and show emotion, maybe even tear up a little bit on that stage, on that Live. Whew. No, thank you. Bye-bye because it doesn’t feel safe for them to say what they’re thinking, let alone what they’re feeling. And there’s often this specific fear around I’m too much for people.

For the overstimulated empath, there’s a lot of stress, stress around speaking. They lack confidence in their voice and there is this ongoing spiral of internal dialogue. What if I screw up? What if I screw up? What if I screw up? What if I screw up? Oh my God. I’m so stressed. What if I screw up? What if I don’t know what to say? I don’t know what to say. Oh my God. Wait, I don’t know what to say. How am I supposed to take all these thoughts in my brain and make them digestible? What’s the point? I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. I just know I want to say something, but I have so many thoughts in my head. I’m not clear on them and I’m just stressed out. I’m overstimulated and maybe tomorrow. That’s the overstimulated empath.

The supernatural empath has a running dialogue of people will think I’m weird. I’m going to go Live and we’ll talk about crystals and someone’s going to tell me that I am so whoo-whoo, I’m just too witchy and it’s just going to reinforce the fact that I feel like I’m never going to be accepted by people in my life. I’m never going to be loved for who I really am. Instead, I should just mold to their expectations and put on this cloak of perfection because I feel more loved when I try to be perfect, versus when I actually express myself or talk about the things that have changed my life or talk about the things that I care about, that I’m most passionate about, that I love. Maybe that’s crystals. The supernatural empath has though this deep fear that by speaking up and using her voice – and this may be rooted in past life trauma – that she’s going to be burned at the stake, that she’s going to be disowned, that she’s not going to be loved or liked.

And then the sacrificing empath, she just leans back into her people pleaser when she tries to use her voice. And instead of saying what she thinks and the thing that’s actually going to magnetize people into her, because she’s not sounding like everyone else, she’s adding some polarity. She’s adding opinion. She’s adding some fierce fire. That’s what lives within her. But when she is the people pleaser inside the sacrificing empath. Instead, she just says whatever she thinks people want to hear and she feels like that’s safer, but the truth is, people are fucking bored. They’re bored of hearing you and everybody else say the same damn thing over and over, maybe in different ways. So the sacrificing empath has the fire, the fierceness, the opinions, the philosophy, the beliefs to be sharing the ideas that are important and are interesting, but she questions that, and then she ends up conforming to the crap.

There are so many of you amazing podcast listeners who reach out to me and send me messages that you’re wanting to take your spiritual development and ascension a step further beyond just listening to the podcast. You want to be able to integrate more of what you’re hearing, what you’re listening to and what you’re learning, because we can be the empathic sponge to information and we can gather up more wisdom and knowledge, but what is more potent and powerful is to integrate that, embody that, and then allow that to be infused into our life in a way that may also shuffle us into action. So we’ve created something for you. I hope that this is a no brainer. It is called the Third Eye Collective, and it is a community of souls just like you – the empaths, the star seed, the highly sensitives – who want to break free of old patterns so that they can alchemize the dark with the light and have the impact they desire on the world as they start to inch closer to their deepest level of leadership. It is in this collective where spiritual ascension meets grounded leadership and your humanity meets your divinity.

I believe that as empaths, we hold powerful medicine for this planet, that you were put into this body for a reason, and that that journey begins by holding a mirror up to ourselves and going to do the inner work that will ultimately begin to shape and change your outer world. When you step into the Third Eye Collective, when you step into this community, you will realize the healing that lives within you.

There are two different tiers in which you can become involved and start to integrate and take your listening experience from the podcast to the next level. The first is called The Awakening, and this is $11 a month. There’s no long-term commitment and you will receive two healing meditations with myself every month to be able to drop down in to your heart and let more of these healing codes live and breathe within you. The other tier, the other level is called The Expansion. It’s $22 a month, and you not only receive these integrating meditations, but you also receive an extended solo episode that is going to help you focus on your spiritual development and awakening. Within that, there’s going to be a thread every month where you can ask me anything and I’ll be compiling the answers, compiling the results to bring them to you so that you get extra coaching. And if you’re asking a question, you get that extra one-on-one support from me. You can check the link in the show notes to see all the details that are included in both The Awakening and The Expansion that lie underneath this umbrella of the Third Eye Collective as a whole. But I am ecstatic to be bringing this to you as a very easy way of taking the work a step further.

So, I invite you to consider this today and how you have or have not been using your voice, what stories come up around sharing your voice, what are the main beliefs you have about being heard, about telling your story, about taking on the role of speaker, teacher or leader. Oftentimes I hear, well, I don’t have anything important to say. No one’s going to understand me. Doesn’t feel safe to speak up and get on that stage. And as we become more aware of what these stories are and what our current volume knob is turned to, we can also ask ourselves empowering questions around what is the message that we want to share? What do we stand for? How are we going to create more feeling thoughts and intentional moments and memories that stay with us until our last day? And we can start to evoke from the ashes, our mission and our purpose and our deeper why? Because it may not feel important to share your voice today because of all the stories we tell ourselves. But if we peel that back, underneath that is an aching within your heart to be heard. A basic human need, an ache to be heard that lives within you. And as we start to evoke that, we start to unearth it and bring it back to the surface, we can start to become more deeply aware of it and what that little sensation wants to say in our body. It’s pulsing, it’s beating it’s aching to get out and aching to grow from this little pulse that we’ve buried into this heartbeat that fuels us, that moves us. That is the purpose behind why we wake up and open our eyes every day and get our feet out of bed and start to walk towards purpose, towards our mission towards our why.

But the difference between having the awareness of I’ve got throat chakra imbalance, I’m afraid of sharing my voice. I feel paralyzed and I’m not taking action. The difference between just being stuck thinking about it or seeing it show up in your life or feeling discouraged around it, feeling frustrated, feeling the lack of confidence is that if you hold that awareness, you could potentially be so tuned in and so aware, but you could stay there the rest of your life. I know this exists within me – period – versus I see this in myself. I am aware of the fear in standing up and going live and being on this virtual or real stage and I choose to do something. I choose to embody my message. I choose to get more present, more grounded and more confident in my voice. I choose to take aligned action. I choose to invest in gaining clarity. I choose to heal the inner child that lives within me and all the past lives that carry through me. I choose to move, to evolve, to transform and let my roar out.

This is my invitation to all of you today after listening. How will you let your roar out starting today? I invite you to reflect on that and anything else that has arisen during this conversation, and then to let me know. Go over Instagram. You can either post it in your stories and tag me and share it with the whole world, or you can pop into my DMs and share with me more intimately how does your roar want to be expressed? What are you declaring today? What are you committing yourself to so that you don’t stay hidden, so that you don’t stay in your smallness? And instead, you let that big, fucking powerful heart out. You let her pour out into the world. And as a result, you feel the fullness that you invite into your life so that on those last days, you have so many intentional moments and memories. So many feelings that you have evoked. So many experiences of connection through your voice, that you sit there and you feel a tear stream down your face in deep, deep fucking gratitude. I’m so glad I chose to move. I’m so glad I choose to stand up. I’m so glad I chose to honor myself, to express who I am and no longer wear any masks.

There’s literally thunder cracking in the sky in this very moment that I’m recording this and we haven’t had rain in I don’t know how long and there is this big thunder roll. That is your invitation to roar, sister to roar. Go be like the thunder and fucking roar.

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